Bigger Steps: These Rich Bastards
by Hibaku
Summary: Previously known as 'Bigger Steps'. Pt.1 of Bigger Steps trilogy. T for language. The Host Club takes a step into its 2nd year. Loosely follows the anime. No yaoi, OCs involved. Full summary on profile pg.
1. Legacy

**1: Legacy**

**10:00 – Just before the start of Calculus**

"We can't be in the Host Club forever, you know," I commented, watching Hikaru take a sip of coffee (yes, the instant kind) from the flask I had kindly obliged to bring for him (upon request).

Kaoru frowned slightly and looked at me. "What do you mean?"

I sighed and turned to him. "Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai are graduating this term. Ouran doesn't have a university department. No matter where they go, they won't be in school anymore. We'll all have to graduate eventually! Haven't you guys been in any other club in junior high?"

They just stared at me pointedly.

"Oh, right."

**x**

**15:03 – Host Club activity**

"Tono!" the twins cried in unison, bursting into The Third Music Room that was decorated to look like a forest. I walked in slowly behind them, regretting for the 5347th time for telling them about the issue.

They had gone on and on for five hours in class, during lunch, then in class again.

"He's in the changing room," Kyouya-senpai didn't even look up from his little black book. He was wearing a strange straw skirt. The Hitachiin brothers stopped running around in circles and shot off tangent into the changing room.

I heard Tamaki-senpai scream.

**x**

"Oh my goodness, the daughter's right!" Tamaki-senpai walked out of the changing room regally with only a leather loincloth strung around his waist. (Don't ask me how he can be regal with only a loincloth.)

Then he pointed at me.

_If that was what he was going to wear out, why did he even bother screaming in the first place…_I thought, sighing inwardly.

"Haruhi!"

"Yes…?"

"We have to take action!"

"…Okay…"

"We have to build an empire for Ouran!"

I felt my eye twitch and repeated, "Build an empire for Ouran? What for?"

Tamaki-senpai guffawed, his hands on his hips. "Just imagine – we graduate into Ouran University, then we become bosses of Ouran Corporation! And we pass our retirement years in Ouran Hospice-!"

"So when we die our corpses will be undertaken by Ouran Undertakers, right?" Honey-senpai chirped all of a sudden from the table where he was eating a chocolate cake, spilling some crumbs on his skirt of leaves. I shuddered at how ominously cute he was as Mori-senpai requested him to eat carefully.

"Ahaha," the blond waved the comment away, "that can be done! As long as we are around, the Host Club will NEVER close down!"

"That's great!" chorused the twins, clapping. They had already changed into matching leopard print loincloths. (What kind of setting it was, I wasn't too sure.)

"No, it's not," I put a hand on my forehead in slight exasperation. "Don't you guys understand? It's not a fairytale world out there. Each of you have your own responsibilities, you have to take care of your family businesses, succeed your predecessors-"

"Our daughter has seen too much of the world, Okaa-san," Tamaki-senpai suddenly glided to Kyouya-senpai's side, his eyes watering. Kyouya-senpai looked up at him.

"She's right, you know."

Tamaki-senpai seemed to fall into a chasm of oblivion and disappeared to a corner of the music room, silently drawing circles on the floor.

Just then the door clicked open. Even though I had not changed yet, we quickly gathered into formation and announced, "Welcome!"

"Ah! It's an Aborigine theme today!"

"Kyouya-kun, you look ravishing!"

"Thank you."

"Oh, Honey-senpai, we brought you a cake!"

"WAI! Really!"

"Haruhi-kun, let's sit over there… Why aren't you changed?"

"I… just arrived too…"

"Ooooh please change!"

"Ehehe, not today…"

Sighing inwardly, I muttered under my breath, "These rich people."

**x**

**17:16 – After all the guests have gone**

"Back to the issue at hand," Tamaki-senpai gathered all of us around his settee. "We have to devise a plan to ensure that the spirit of the Host Clubs surges on throughout the generations!"

"We can merge the Host Club with the Haninozuka Family that has been around for MANY generations! Right, Takashi?"

"…Mm."

"Why not we just register it as a permanent club – one that will never close down - with the relevant association?"

"Which association does that?"

"I don't know…"

I looked at Kyouya-senpai to be the voice of reason, because he was the only one (besides me, of course…) who hadn't spoken. Kyouya-senpai pushed his spectacles further up his nose bridge and spoke.

"We could just do what the other clubs do, actually."

"What?" the rest chorused.

"Get successors."

Tamaki-senpai looked highly violated. "But Kyouya, we are a unique club! This is our brainchild! It BELONGS to us!" he threw his hands up in the air and tilted his chin skywards.

I decided to speak up. "I agree with Kyouya-senpai, actually."

"NO!" Tamaki-senpai crumpled down onto the floor, his head in his hands. "Don't do this to me, Haruhi!"

Suddenly, a rumble shook the floor and we heard the sound of a high-power motor. Not long after, Renge spiraled up on her platform.

"Ohohohoho! It appears that the Host Club has met a crisis! Let me, the manageress, solve it for you all!"

"Ehe, thank you, Renge. But I believe we can solve it on our own…"

"Nonsense!" screeched the caramel-haired otaku. "I am a part of this club as well!"

"Yes, we need all the help we can get!" Tamaki-senpai held out a hand to her. "Be our ally, Renge-kun!"

Renge smiled at him craftily. "Actually, I'm more for the idea that you graduate like how you should and let the club get successors."

"WHAT!" everyone on the 'other side' shrieked.

She cackled and put her hands on her hips.

"I know where this is going…" I whispered to myself, making a silent groan.

"THE HOST CLUB IS LACKING IN CHARACTER! With all of you out of the school, I can finally put in new members with the right kind of characters that girls like! Ohohohoho!"

"Renge-kun's graduating along with us, aren't you?" Kyouya-senpai coolly stated. I saw Renge's eyebrow twitch and she spun around to face Kyouya-senpai.

"That's not important!" she huffed. "Now, all of you listen to me!"

"Takashi, I want to eat more cake!"

"Hmm, I wonder what's for dinner later…"

"I have to get home to prepare dinner!"

"Haruhi's making dinner!"

Renge screamed. "FINE! DON'T LISTEN TO ME! I SHALL LET ALL OF YOU SOLVE YOUR OWN STUPID PROBLEM! HMPH!"

With that ending note, she disappeared down into wherever she stores the high-power motor.

**x**

"We still haven't come to a conclusion," I sighed.

"Why do we have to let other people take over our club…" sulked Tamaki-senpai.

"Okay guys, listen. Just be more open to the idea! It may not be too bad. We can have a Hall of Fame and ten years down the road when we visit Ouran again they'd probably have a Host Foundation set up already!" Kaoru grinned.

Tamaki-senpai just stared. "Traitor..."

"But Tono, I'm just being truthful!"

"…Traitor."

"Hmm… You're right! We can even train people how to be hosts! Workshops and all that stuff," Hikaru warmed to the idea, ignoring Tamaki-senpai's crestfallen expression.

"Oh! And whenever we visit we can eat cakes!" Honey-senpai cheered. Mori-senpai nodded agreeably.

"Recruitment will also be an interesting experience," Kyouya-senpai smiled. He probably had something up his sleeve.

I walked over to Tamaki-senpai, who was drawing circles in his corner.

"Tamaki-senpai?"

He looked at me with his puppy dog eyes, and I knelt on the floor beside him.

"Don't be silly, Tamaki-senpai," I tried to moderate my tone. "Nothing is yours forever."

He looked at the floor before looking at me with his puppy dog eyes again.

"It won't work this time, Tamaki-senpai," I affirmed more gently. "It's something we can't avoid. Even if you manage to make everyone change their minds about not recruiting new people, it wouldn't change the fact that you have to graduate."

Tamaki-senpai looked at me forlornly and for a moment there our visions locked.

_You poor thing…Just like a child._

"Come on, Tamaki-senpai," I got to my feet. "Just get yourself together."

"Will it really be all right if we let other people take over…?" Tamaki-senpai bit his lip in apprehension.

"Tamaki-senpai," I assured him patiently, "Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai are graduating this semester, but you and Kyouya-senpai aren't. When you do, there'll still be the twins and me. And after we graduate, there'll be those people we've trained with our own hands! Not all of us will graduate at the same time."

Tamaki-senpai brightened up. "Oh yes, that's right! We won't all be graduating at the same time! That's great! Haruhi you're SO smart!" Tamaki-senpai picked me up and held me tightly.

"Ehehe, yes, yes…" I muttered, not able to believe that he hadn't realized it all this while.

The twins moaned, "Stupid Tono…"

"Tama-chan didn't realize it at all, right Takashi?"

"Don't think so."

Kyouya-senpai could only sigh at the president.

"Right!" Tamaki-senpai let go of me and pointed to nothing in general. "Let's make ourselves a legacy!"


	2. Fun, Fun, Fun

Note: Please note that I only use Japanese when it comes to the addressing of characters. For example, Tamaki will call Kyouya _okaa-san_, and the twins will call Tamaki _tono_, or 'my lord', as some of you are more familiar with. I try to avoid using Japanese in speech for the benefit of those who do not understand the language. If any of you still do not understand anything, please leave me a message and I will try my best to clarify it with you.

One more thing – 'aa', when the characters say it (especially Mori), means 'yes'. It is very different from the exclamatory 'ah'. Please take note of this. Thank you all for reading, and feel free to leave your comments.

**2: Fun, Fun, Fun**

**14:00 – The last Sunday of the school year**

"Haru-chan, we're going to WONDERLAND!" Honey-senpai whirled around me as we strolled down the steps of my block of units to the waiting limousine.

"Honestly, you guys didn't have to-" I began, indicating the luxury vehicle.

"HAAARUHIIIIII! HAVE FUN!" Dad screamed from above. I sweatdropped.

"Okay, ehehe, bye," I waved weakly, turning back.

"Let's go!" Honey-senpai pulled me along and waved to my father at the same time, who waved back enthusiastically before popping back into the unit. Then I felt Honey-senpai tug my arm.

"Ah, Usa-chan!" Honey-senpai shrieked as the rabbit went rolling down the stairs.

"TAKASHI!" was all it needed for the tall figure waiting at the bottom of the stairs to take action. I rushed down the stairs as well, attempting to catch the toy.

Mori-senpai was a blur as he dived to catch Usa-chan. Of course, being _Mori-senpai_, he caught it with ease. I breathed a sigh of relief as I got to the bottom step just half a second late.

"YAY! You're the best, Takashi!" Honey-senpai bounded down the stairs cheering for his cousin, who handed him the plushy. Mori-senpai just gave Honey-senpai the tiniest of smiles and prodded him towards the car. Honey-senpai entered, and Mori-senpai looked expectantly at me, holding open the door.

"Thank you, Mori-senpai," I gave him a warm smile as I started to climb in, only to be immediately greeted by the twins' boisterous arguing with Tamaki-senpai.

"No, Haruhi sits with me!" protested Tamaki-senpai to the twins.

"She would never sit with you! Right, Haruhi?" They looked at me. Tamaki-senpai realized I was there and turned back to look at me with puppy dog eyes.

I looked at Kyouya-senpai for help.

He pretended not to see me.

With my eyebrow twitching, I quickly climbed out again.

Mori-senpai shot me a quizzical look, still holding open the door.

"I'm sitting with the driver…" I muttered, opening the door to the front section. Surprisingly, Mori-senpai followed me.

"Don't you want to sit with Honey-senpai?"

Mori-senpai looked at me for a moment. "There's actually a lot of cake inside," he said in his usual deep tone, gesturing to the longer section of the car.

"I get you," I laughed, getting into my seat beside the driver, hearing vague cries of "SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" from behind me.

**x**

Mori-senpai gazed out of the window and didn't speak, as usual. However, I found his silence comfortable, compared to the Suou family chauffeur. I peeked at the driver from the corner of my eye…

…And when he suddenly looked at me I was so shocked that I jumped.

"Mm?" Mori-senpai turned to look at me.

I waved my hand in front of me and said, "Ahaha, I'm okay…"

He nodded and I embarrassedly looked away from the driver, whom I swear was trying hard not to laugh.

"How many guests have designated you already?" Mori-senpai suddenly murmured. I looked at him and tilted my head in consideration, trying to ignore the loud thuds that the twins and Tamaki-senpai were making on the glass barrier separating our section of the limo from theirs. From the rearview mirror, I saw that Honey-senpai was enjoying some cake with Usa-chan and trying to convince Kyouya-senpai to eat some.

"I think I'm getting more popular," I laughed, folding my hands on the turquoise skirt that Dad chose for me and turning back to Mori-senpai. "It's gone to about four hundred."

Mori-senpai's lips turned up at their corners. "Haruhi is a different kind of girl."

"Mori-senpai…?"

He ruffled my hair affectionately, replaying yet another one of his unMori-senpai moments.

"Both you and Honey-senpai will visit regularly, right?" I asked as I felt a sudden pang of loss. Both the third-years were graduating in less than a week.

"Aa," he affirmed.

"Where are you going after high school?"

His eyes wandered to the windscreen.

"You are still going to be with Honey-senpai, aren't you?" I prompted.

"Mm," he nodded. I smiled.

"That's expected," I leant into the seat with a satisfied sigh. "Let's make this outing a memorable one then!"

He didn't say anything, but that was enough for me to know he agreed.

**x**

**14:17 – Just before reaching Wonderland**

Somehow, I just couldn't resist looking at the chauffeur _one more time_…

_He doesn't even look away to hit the signal lever. But that is expected of an experienced driver, isn't it? It must be difficult driving such a big car on such a small road… It's a good thing we came at a good time otherwise there would be a jam…_

I was lost in my thoughts, my gaze still fixated intently on the middle-aged man sitting beside me. Suddenly, he looked at me, his eyes piercing into mine.

"AAAHHH!" I couldn't stop myself.

"We're here," he curtly announced, ignoring my outburst.

Flushing, I shooed the puzzled Mori-senpai out of the car and said a muffled thanks to the chauffeur.

**x**

"IT'S WONDERLAND!" cheered Honey-senpai ecstatically from his vantage point that was Mori-senpai. Meanwhile, Tamaki-senpai was hovering around me, his grumblings all about me abandoning him with the twins. Hikaru and Kaoru had their arms linked with each of mine, chatting to me happily in a bid to annoy Tamaki-senpai. Kyouya-senpai was, as always, walking alone with his black book open.

I wondered to myself, _How on earth did I get entangled with this group of people?_

My gaze averted to Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai, who were fronting the group. _They can be adorable or silent, and sometimes even mad…_

"Haruhi, you're my good daughter, right? How can you side with outsiders?"

"Tono, we're Haruhi's _buddies_, you see."

_They can be silly and idiotic…And very troublesome…_

"Oh yes, Haruhi, you pulled off some leaves from Honey-senpai's costume the other day as you were bringing the coffee to his table, so you have to get 50 more designations."

_And extremely calculative…_

"But they're nice people, all the same," I grinned to myself, not knowing that I had spoken that aloud.

"Eh?" the Hitachiin brothers and Tamaki-senpai looked at me.

"Ah, nothing," I laughed, shaking my head. "Let's go in!"

I rushed to the gates, hearing Kaoru murmur to Hikaru, "She's particularly upbeat today…"

**x**

"Okay, who's afraid of thriller rides?" Kaoru lazily quizzed. Tamaki-senpai gingerly put up his hand.

"As we expected," Hikaru laughed. Tamaki-senpai ran to a lamppost, squatted down and decided to draw circles on the floor again. I sighed.

"Well, I don't particularly like thriller rides either," voiced Kyouya-senpai.

"Kyouya-senpai's afraid?" I spun around in surprise to face him. He pushed his glasses up his nose. "No, it's just that I've been riding on them for a long time. It gets boring after awhile."

"The theme park belongs to his family," whispered the twins into my ears. I glanced back at Kyouya-senpai in stark realization.

"All right then, Kyou-chan will stay on the grounds with Tama-chan and we will go ride the Mega Twirl!" enthused Honey-senpai, pointing at the spiraling humongous contraption swinging about in the sky.

It looked positively vomit-inducing.

"I think I'll pass too," I politely spoke up, thinking of the lunch I had consumed not long before.

"EHHH?" the twins protested. Tamaki-senpai grabbed me from behind, saying, "I knew you wouldn't leave me behind like that, Haruhi!"

As I twisted his wrist away from my arm (I believe he whimpered but it had happened too often for me to pay attention), I provided them with an answer. "I just had lunch, so you guys run along."

"Okay then…" Kaoru and Hikaru complied in unison, before spinning around and skipping to the ride. Mori-senpai gave us a half smile as he piggybacked a waving Honey-senpai.

"Okay," Kyouya-senpai looked at Tamaki-senpai and me. "Let me bring you two to a place where we can _really_ have fun."

"What?" Tamaki-senpai and I exclaimed in slight horror, rather alarmed at Kyouya-senpai's suggestion.

Kyouya-senpai just gave us a wicked look, and pushed us towards the left wing of the park.

**x**

**14:47 – The ride that has no name… yet**

_What on earth is this…_

"This is our latest ride that hasn't been launched yet," Kyouya-senpai gestured, as if reading my mind (as always). "I need the both of you to write me a one thousand word review on this, so please have a go."

"EH? WHY US!"

Kyouya-senpai looked at us intensely. "Because if I got the whole club to go on the ride together, there's no chance of all six of you writing a constructive review. Actually," he tipped his palm towards the sky, "I wanted to go alone to ensure the best review to be written, but since I have someone else to do it for me, I might as well, right?"

"Kyouyaaaaaa…" whined Tamaki-senpai.

"I'll be sitting at the back observing the ride as well."

_These rich bastards…_

"How did you know I wouldn't be on the Mega Twirl with the rest of them?" I asked, eyebrow in twitch mode (nothing new there).

"He doesn't know these things, Haruhi," Tamaki-senpai threw up his hands in despair. "He just acts according to the circumstances. That's Kyouya's strong point."

"Thank you for the compliment. Please, get on the ride," Kyouya smiled pleasantly.

Honestly, I had the urge to hit him.

**x**

"Is this a scary ride, Kyouya?" Tamaki-senpai turned back to ask our vice-president after the barricades clamped down over us. Kyouya-senpai just replied, "I am only here to observe. You two are the ones doing the review."

"Argh," Tamaki-senpai put his face in his hands, knowing it was useless to protest further. The machine started whirring into life, and the ride, which seemed to be made of white fiberglass, lurched into a tunnel that was we had not seen upon arrival because it was covered by machine-operated artificial shrubbery. (It did look very real.)

It was pitch dark everywhere, and we had no idea what was going to happen. It seemed rather disconcerting, being strapped in a ride tightly and not being able to see what was in front of us at all.

Then-

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"HARUHIIIII! WE'RE FALLING!"

"I KNOW, IDIOT! YOU'RE CLUTCHING MY THIGH!"

"KYOUYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"For Pete's sake, Tamaki. Concentrate on the ride."

"SENPAI, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY THIGH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! KYOUYA I HATE YOU!"

We stopped abruptly.

"Oh, we've stopped, we've stopped-" I felt Tamaki-senpai's hand leave my stinging thigh. He then started thumping his palm against his chest, muttering incoherent death threats directed to our vice president – one of which included using Nekozawa-senpai's wooden cat doll.

"We're not moving," I realized after a while.

"That's good," I heard Tamaki-senpai give a feeble chuckle amongst the cursing. Twenty seconds passed.

"Kyouya-senpai, we're not mov-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE SPINNING _AND _FALLING!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE ME A COMMENTARY! I'M ON THE RIDE TOO!"

"Concentrate, you two… I _need _the review."

"I THOUGHT HARUHI ISN'T AFRAID OF SUCH THINGS!"

"I AM NOT WHEN I CAN AT LEAST SEE WHERE I'M GOING!"

"Are you two listening to me?"

"HARUHI I'M SCARED!"

"YOU'RE BREAKING MY ARM!"

"Concentrate on the ride!" Kyouya-senpai growled ominously.

Terrified of the evil presence of our vice-president, Tamaki-senpai and I instinctively clutched each other. I started to wonder if Kyouya-senpai was human.

"Haruhi…" I heard the blond whisper weakly.

"What," I hissed irritably.

"I think I'm going to puke."

"Aww, don't say that…" I had been resisting the urge not to as well.

"No, really-"

"Haruhi, you can reach to your left and find a small casement drawer. There are some bags inside you may want to use," the curt voice behind us sounded in the tunnel.

"Wow, thanks for the information, Kyouya-senpai," I replied sarcastically. The ride was moving at a comfortable pace at that time (in a somewhat comfortable diagonal direction), but I could tell how frightened Tamaki-senpai was.

"Don't throw up, Tamaki-senpai, please," I pacified our president as my hand coincidentally found his. It felt like sashimi – cold, clammy and lifeless.

"We'll kill Kyouya-senpai later, all right? Tamaki-senpai?"

It really scared me when Tamaki-senpai didn't respond.

"Tamaki-senpai?" I cried, alarmed.

"What's wrong?" Kyouya-senpai had a tinge of worry in his voice as well.

"I-I'm… fine…" Tamaki-senpai squeezed my hand lightly. I quickly fumbled for the said drawer and pulled out as many bags as my hand could close on.

"It's going to be over soon, right? Kyouya-senpai?" I looked to the rear for an answer even though I couldn't see him.

"Yes. Soon. But…"

I had a bad feeling about that 'but', and my feeling came true when the carriage zoomed forwards, upwards and forwards – we were upside down! – before it spun five times and zoomed forwards, downwards and forwards followed by a series of zigzags: upwards.

This time, we didn't even bother to hold it in.

**x**

"The ride doesn't have a name yet, right?" I asked Kyouya-senpai after I got out of the restroom.

"No, it doesn't."

"Good, then you can name it 'The Ride from Hell'," I said in a clipped tone, walking over to poor Tamaki-senpai, who had at least five full paper bags at his feet. He couldn't even walk the few steps to the toilet, and Kyouya-senpai had to sit with him by the ride as he threw up everything he had (or didn't have) in his stomach.

Tamaki-senpai was the kind of guy that was stupid but adorable (at times), and most of all fiercely loyal. I didn't like to see him in such a sorry state, and for a moment there I was genuinely angry with Kyouya-senpai for putting him through this for a stupid review.

"You're angry with me for putting Tamaki through this just because of a stupid review, right?"

_These rich bastards think they know everything._

I didn't want to answer, and fussed silently over Tamaki-senpai by giving him a piece of tissue and patting his back as he retched violently. It was a good thing the ride was in the 'Under Construction' area and we were the only ones there.

"It's not a stupid review, Haruhi. I just need you to know that. As for Tamaki… He should know why I put him through this."

Tamaki-senpai looked up and gave me a wan smile.

"Kyouya's just trying to help," he rasped. I raised my eyebrows, expecting an explanation, but obviously Tamaki-senpai was too sick to continue as he returned to the bag.

"Okay then, Kyouya-senpai shall explain," I stared at him angrily.

The subject in question sighed. "I'll let him explain to you when he gets better."

With that, he got up from his white fiberglass perch and exited the area, leaving Tamaki-senpai and I alone.

**x**

"Feeling better?" I handed Tamaki-senpai a bottle of water as we started to go back to look for the rest. He took a sip.

"Hey, Haruhi…"

"Hmm?"

"Don't blame Kyouya, all right? He was just trying to help."

"Trying to help. Right."

"No, really…" Tamaki-senpai stared up at the sky. "When I first got to know Kyouya, he invited me here. I had never gone on such rides before and wanted to try each and every one. But the moment I went on my first scary ride… I didn't even have time to get off the ride…"

I sweatdropped. "You don't have to tell me."

Tamaki-senpai gave me a small smile. "Some girls from school saw the incident and wanted to tell everyone the next day, when they went back to school. Kyouya heard about it and told the girls something, I have no idea what it was, and they promised never to let that embarrassing incident be known to the rest of the world."

_Why am I not surprised he had such influence even as a kid from junior high…_

"Ever since that year, he's been trying to help me overcome my fear of fast, thrilling rides. Every year he'd bring me to this place and pay for all of the rides, before making me go on them. He doesn't even mind getting cursed! Kyouya's a nice guy, really… Don't be angry."

I shrugged, my heart softening. So Kyouya-senpai was doing it all for his friend…

"But what about the review?"

Tamaki-senpai sighed. "It must be one of those Ootori assignments again. Every year Kyouya's father will assign him and his brothers a project to do, and whoever gets the most marks gets another step closer to being the next Ootori successor. I bet this year it's on Wonderland. The review is only a tiny part of the project – Kyouya has to come up with proposals, statistics and financial projections."

"That's so stressful."

"Of course, it's the Ootori family we're talking about here," Tamaki-senpai laughed, and I was rather relieved that he was looking less pale.

"Seems like you're feeling better now," I commented, giving him a quick once-over. He appeared to be delighted by this statement and immediately lapsed into hyper-Tamaki mode.

"After what happened just now I am convinced that Haruhi cares for me!" he closed his eyes as if in deep emotion and put a hand delicately to his chest. "You are an angel, Haruhi."

"…Okay…"

"When you held my hand in the tunnel just now I felt that you were my salvation, you were the one who could bring me out of the darkness into the light!"

"It was a coincidence that our hands met, senpai, nothing else."

"Do not deny your love, Haruhi – love should be respected and not brushed away like that!"

"For goodness' sake, senpai."

"Haruhi! Listen to me, you cannot withstand-"

"IT'S HARU-CHAN AND TAMA-CHAN! I FOUND THEM!"

I never thought I would have been that happy to hear Honey-senpai's voice and practically bounded over to the small-built senior in extreme joy - leaving Tamaki-senpai to his ramblings.

**x **

**18:23 – And the day ends at the ice-cream parlor**

"I think Haruhi looks nicer in pink," Kaoru mused. Hikaru shook his head.

"Pink isn't really Haruhi's colour – I think she would suit reds or oranges. Colors that make her stand out more."

"Mm. On second thought, you're right. Her skin color really does not set off pink as a contrast, it make her look rather pale-"

"Excuse me," I unclenched my jaw finally, releasing my grip on my glass of iced tea. "Would you two stop talking as if I weren't here?"

"Aww Haruhi, couldn't you be more sporting?" the brothers tried to pacify me with their double choconut sundaes.

I declined (not very politely).

"Haruhi doesn't like sweet stuff," Tamaki-senpai winked at me flirtatiously. "Right, Haruhi?"

I shuddered.

"It seems exceptionally quiet," I mused, wanting to change the subject.

Honey-senpai's constant cheering was missing.

Kneeling on my seat to peer into the next booth, I saw Mori-senpai entirely captivated with Honey-senpai's massacre of the upsized dessert menu. He was working on a large banana split, and I have to admit it was quite a spectacle. The three other guys in my booth copied my stance and squeezed into the space beside me.

"That's scary," Hikaru looked at Kaoru. Kaoru nodded vehemently, and looked at the already gawping Tamaki-senpai. I laughed softly at his ridiculous expression and Kyouya-senpai tore his eyes away from the book he was reading to look up at me, upon realization that I was there.

I gave him a small smile. "Sorry if I threw a tantrum at you just now," I peered down at him.

He shrugged.

"Kyouya-senpai is a really nice guy, in actual fact," I nodded happily.

He paused and looked up at me – I could have sworn that his glasses actually gleamed in mischief.

"Oh yes, Haruhi. I just want to inform you. For all the barf bags that you used today, I'll have to add it to your debt."

_These rich bastards._


	3. Dramarama

_This is a special author's note to Hikaru, who reviewed Chapter 2!_

Hey there. You didn't leave a link or email so I couldn't tell you… Actually, I don't do yaoi. Mori and Honey will not be in this fic much, by the way. It's okay if you stop reading this fic, I totally understand :) But if you do continue reading it, thank you so much, I really appreciate it. There will be brotherly love moments, and kaa-san-tou-san moments for the twins and Kyouya and Tamaki respectively, but nothing that suggests they have a romantic relationship. You could check my profile page bio for what kind of fics I write. Cheers!

**A/N to everyone else**: Please visit my profile page for some **important things to note about the fics I write**. Thank you.

Note: 'moe' basically means a passionate interest in something. I used that word in here because I couldn't think of a more appropriate term. Do forgive. And if you're wondering, here are the OCs' names in kanji: 葉小沢知世 (Hakozawa Tomoyo) and 翠花冬扉 (Midoribana Touhi). I would have added some Japanese-pun jokes about Touhi's name, but since English is the medium used here, I think I'll just spare you guys XD

**3: Dramarama**

**12:31 – Last day of the school year**

I packed my bento box away and took a sip of water from my bottle.

_Okay, I shall get down to work now-!_

"Haruhi-kun, someone's looking for you!"

I sullenly turned around to face my classmate, albeit upset that I was interrupted. She pointed to the door of the classroom.

My eyes widened.

"Tomoyo-chan!"

"Hello, Senpai!" waved my ex-schoolmate, drawing all unnecessary attention with her height and different uniform.

**x**

**12:35 – A little distance away from the classroom, not close enough for anyone to hear**

"What are you doing here?" I pulled her away from the prying eyes of the dieting ladies who had stayed in the classroom and not gone for lunch, puzzled that she got in unnoticed.

"I wanted to visit you," Tomoyo-chan grinned cheekily, patting me on the head.

I gazed up at her. "You're still the Giantess as usual, huh?"

"Yes! I'm 175 cm now!"

"Stop boasting!" I laughed, swatting her hand away.

"Eh, why are you in a boy's uniform?"

"It's a long story… I'll tell you next time."

"But Senpai-"

"Next time," I firmly held up a finger. "Now, I'm sure you won't come here for any reason… Why did you come to Ouran today, really?"

She inhaled heavily, preparing to cannonball. "I'mattendingOuran!" she gushed excitedly.

"What?" I exclaimed in disbelief. "But it's already _March_, why would you get a transfer now?"

Tomoyo-chan giggled, "I'm coming here, silly. To the high school section. I had to come here to get matriculated today, since I'm not free during the vacation and can't get matriculated then."

"But- How- I mean, I don't know if you're terribly rich and I'm not saying that you're poor, but-"

She beamed, throwing her arms out jubilantly. "I got the scholarship!"

My eyes couldn't help but widen in surprise. "Congrats! Everyone expected Ohno to receive it, right?"

The giantess nodded happily, running her fingers through her auburn hair. "Our principal is very proud. Last year you got it, and this year I got it! And we were both from the same club! Ohno-kun was very upset when he heard the news though, being the club president and all."

I gave her a feeble smile. "You know, our club isn't a club to be proud of…"

"Don't be silly. Don't you think it's a nice thing to be in the Study Supervisors Club? It's a very fulfilling activity!"

I sighed. "Honestly, Hayashi-sensei was the one who forced me to join. But I had some fun times there, I admit."

"See!"

"Okay, okay," I held up my hands in defense. Then I realized something and peered intently at her. She peered back at me, her green eyes widening.

"You know, Tomoyo-chan… You have changed."

"What do you mean, _different_?"

"Your, uh…" I gestured to her chest.

She waved the comment away. "Senpai, I didn't know you had such tendencies… to notice people's growing processes."

"Excuse me, don't get the wrong idea! But honestly I don't remember it being this… I mean, okay, I remember it was, but-"

"HENTAI!" she exclaimed, adopting a protective stance and backing into a wall.

"Hey! I already said that-"

"Just kidding," she threw back her head and laughed. "But yours…!" she chuckled, pointing. I scowled, putting my arms across my chest.

"I'm a late bloomer, all right?" I tried hard not to flush. Even though I wasn't very sensitive about such things, it was different when a girl with bigger assets laughed at me. I had to defend my own pride.

"All right, I'm sorry! Now, can you tell me why you're dressed like a boy?"

"I don't have time to tell you now… If you want, you could wait till tomorrow and we can meet up or something, since break starts tomorrow," I sighed in a conciliatory tone.

She looked surprised, for some reason. "Meet up with you…?"

"Yes, is there a problem?"

Flushing, she replied, "It's just that I don't get asked out much. I don't have many close friends."

"Ah…" I thought back on my years in junior high. From what I remembered, Tomoyo-chan was a butterfly – she wasn't close to any particular person, but like a good friend to all. She seemed to have everything – beauty, brains, good club records, good manners – but she always went home alone, and ate alone.

"Senpai, I don't think I can make it tomorrow… I'll be really busy during this one-week break. I'm sorry," she spoke slowly, her disappointment evident.

"It's all right, Tomoyo-chan… I can tell you when you come to Ouran next semester!"

Nodding, she flashed me a smile. "I have to go, you better get going to class too!"

I waved and turned back to walk to the classroom. I then proceeded to enter it, only to find a horde of female classmates swarming around me, wailing pitifully.

"Who was that girl, Haruhi-kun?"

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"She was from your junior high, right?"

"Is she going to steal you away from us?"

"Is she rich?"

"She's so pretty!"

"Why are you on a first-name basis with her?"

"I thought I meant the most to you, Haruhi-kun!"

I felt my eyelid twitch.

**x**

**15:20 – Host Club activity**

"Haruhi-kun, have you seen the new menu they're putting up in the new school term? It's such a pity we won't get to eat it, it looks really good!"

"No, I haven't," I smiled. "Even though I'm sure it will taste great, I still prefer cooking my own food."

The girls squealed, "Haruhi-kun must cook very well! It's such a pity we can't taste it!"

I smiled placidly. This was a graduating group of regular clients, and I silently realized that I wouldn't see them so regularly ever again.

"Has the first year been difficult for you, Haruhi-kun?"

"Well… I don't think 'difficult' is the word. It would have been difficult if I only studied at the last minute, I think. However I studied consistently, so it wasn't a very big problem for me. I did put in many hours though," I rubbed my head in embarrassment. "I must seem like a geek to you girls, eh?"

"NO!" all of them burst out, hearts floating in their eyes. "Haruhi-kun is such a good student!"

I laughed, causing them to rock about even more.

"We'll miss you so much, when we graduate."

"Yes, Haruhi-kun never fails to be a sensitive listener."

"Ah, don't say that," I dipped my head down, acknowledging their expression of thanks.

"Oh yes. Would you be going to the ball later, Haruhi-kun?"

One of the vast differences between Ouran High School and normal 'common folk' schools, as how Tamaki-senpai would put it, was that on the last day of school there would be no spring cleaning. Instead, there would be a ball.

What a life the rich lead.

"No, I don't think so."

"Aa, Haruhi-kun isn't someone who would participate very actively in such social functions, right?"

I cocked my head, considering the dance party earlier that year. "Besides that… I can't dance very well."

The girls giggled again, probably at my frankness. "We'll teach you how to dance, then!"

"No we can't, Midori… Today's our last day in school!"

"Awww yes, I almost forgot! Sorry, Haruhi-kun… But I really wish that we could dance together!"

I just smiled and gave her an apologetic shrug.

"Doing well, Haruhi," I heard someone behind me whisper. I turned around to see Mori-senpai, and that surprised me. He gave me a tiny smile before walking over to Honey-senpai's group of people and tapping Honey-senpai on the shoulder to talk to him.

_Ah. It's their last day here too._

**x**

**16:54 – Last of the guests trickling out**

I showed my last guest to the door and bowed in appreciation of her patronage.

"Haru-chan!" I heard Honey-senpai call from behind me.

I spun around and he leapt into my arms. "Ah," I started. "What's wrong?"

"I'll miss you, Haru-chan…" Honey-senpai buried his face in my tummy, his hands around my waist. Some of his leaving clients stayed back to watch the 'performance', which I wasn't totally comfortable with.

"Honey-senpai-"

"I want you to have this," he sniffled, shutting me up. A package was pushed into my hand. I bit my lip, my heart clenching, and took the gift, oblivious to the squeals and swooning of the spectators.

"Thank you, Honey-senpai," I mustered a smile. "Can I open it?"

"Mm!" Honey-senpai nodded, clutching Usa-chan tightly to his chest.

I gingerly peeled the wrapper away and lifted out pink plushy that resembled Usa-chan, but instead of a rabbit, mine was a bear.

"Ah… It's so cute…" I couldn't help but murmur. "Thank you!"

A girl promptly fainted from the moe overdose (that was completely unintentional on our part).

"Why does Haruhi get a nicer present than we do?" our club's prized pair walked up to Honey-senpai, showing their palm-sized Usa-chans.

"Because I like Haru-chan best!" declared Honey-senpai, clutching my arm and grinning widely. I smiled at him and patted him on the head.

"But you aren't very close to Kyouya-senpai, right?" Kaoru bent down to meet his eye.

"Why did you give him a special present?" Hikaru slung his arm over his brother's shoulder, bending forwards as well.

Kyouya-senpai pretended to be very engrossed with the auctions he was handling on the computer.

Honey-senpai put a finger to his temple in thought. "Because Takashi said that Kyou-chan is a workaholic, so I decided to get him a special present!"

I chuckled, and looked at the 'Anti-stress' Usa-chan Ball that was smiling at Kyouya-senpai from its position on the table.

_I'm sure you'll benefit from it, Kyouya-senpai._

**x**

**17:05 – Mori and Tamaki are still with their guests**

"Mori-senpai is taking very long today…" I mused, settling into the settee with a Physics textbook as Honey-senpai teetered to Kyouya-senpai's table, where there was still some cake calling for consumption. It was a norm for Tamaki-senpai to end after five, but for Mori-senpai…

"I heard that he had to reject at least ten girls just now," Hikaru whispered into my ear, propping his arm on the backrest.

"They're all grabbing their last chances before he graduates," I heard Kaoru say in my other ear.

"No wonder there were so many guests today…" I mused, thinking about how many pairs of eyes I had seen that weren't red from crying. There were but a handful (and all of them weren't Mori-senpai's clients).

"Who would've thought Mori-senpai would be so popular?" I stroked my chin. "Even Honey-senpai finished earlier than him…"

A loud rumble announced the impending laughter, and the twins clutched each other as the earth shook, only to reveal a spiraling platform where our club's self-proclaimed manageress stood, with a hand placed daintily on her hip and another in the air.

I sweatdropped and got up from my seat.

Sighing, I began. "Renge-chan… Why do you always have to-"

"Ohohohohoho!" she interrupted. "Haruhi-kun, you are really clueless as to why Mori-senpai has such an appeal, aren't you?"

"Actually, I-"

"That's because he's the Silent Killer Type," she nodded to herself wisely, stepping down from the platform. Hikaru and Kaoru shook their heads and put up their hands in a gesture of defeat, meaning to say 'you can't stop her now'.

"Mori-senpai is actually the gem of many girls' hearts," Renge started. As she ploughed on about her various classifying theories, I heard a knock on the door, and Kyouya-senpai rose from his chair to open it.

**x**

**17:11 – The boy at the door**

Renge stopped talking upon the mysterious guest's arrival, and turned to look at the door. The Hitachiin brothers were scrutinizing the newcomer, murmuring that he looked familiar, and they moved closer to the door to take a peek. Apparently he was looking for someone.

And as for me, I didn't know the boy at all, nothing was my business and for once no one was bothering me so I hopped back onto the settee and started to look at my textbook again.

Go me.

"What's the name of the person that you're looking for?" I heard Renge ask in a cutesy, sweet voice that made a tingle go up my spine.

"I-I d-d-d-don't know…" he started to stammer.

"Well, since you're looking for him, at least you should know his name," Kyouya-senpai stated. Curious, I peeked at them over my textbook.

"I really don't know… He's quite short, with, uh, short hair, about here-"

One moment he was a stammering idiot and the next, he was perfectly normal with Kyouya-senpai. Weird kid.

Then I heard Kaoru ask, "Aren't you Midoribana Touhi?"

"Our parents play golf together, right?" Hikaru quizzed.

"Oh, I see. No wonder I found you so familiar. You're the successor to both Venus Nishigi International and N.E.S.S, right?" Kyouya-senpai _smiled pleasantly_. I raised an eyebrow.

_This must be some important guy…_

"Ah, yes…" he started, nodding towards them.

Apparently to Renge, the boy seemed to be a new species worth noticing and she had retreated into a corner, whispering furtively into the tape recorder she magicked out of nowhere.

"Please, do come in," Kyouya-senpai made a sweeping gesture into the room.

The newcomer stepped in and promptly proceeded to gawk. "Isn't this supposed to be a music room…? Why does it look like a tea lounge…"

"That's what I thought when I first came," I chuckled from my seat, putting down the textbook that was covering my face.

"AH! YOU!" his face brightened and he rushed over to me. "I've been searching for you _everywhere_!" he gripped my shoulders.

"Me?" I squeaked, taken aback; I didn't even know the guy!

Renge squealed and commentated everything into the recorder, and I caught the words 'wild', 'deceiving' and 'squirrel', which didn't make any sense but it was typical of Renge.

The twins rushed over and gave the boy (who was apparently called Midoribana Touhi) their evil eye.

"How do you know Haruhi…?" they demanded, scowling and tucking their wrists into the crook of their elbows, mirroring each other.

"Ah, so your name is Haruhi… Haruhi-senpai!" he assumed a formal stance and bowed. "Pleased to meet you!"

"Ehe, um, I'm pleased to meet you too…"

"I've been searching for you for almost four hours…" he said in euphoria, as he gazed at me dreamily. "I've finally found you!"

The Hitachiins stepped between him and I, ready for attack. Through the crack between their adjacent shoulders I saw Midoribana Touhi frown.

"I need to ask him something important," he cocked his head in puzzlement. "Why are you two blocking me?"

"We won't let you touch Haruhi!"

"Uh, I won't touch him then."

"Who's so insolent as to touch Haruhi?" came the voice from behind me, every decibel of his words carrying an element of death.

_As if two weren't enough, this one had to appear_… I groaned inwardly, turning around to face Tamaki-senpai.

"I'm all right, senpai, no one's touching me-"

"Actually, I think there's a misunderstanding," Kyouya-senpai pushed his glasses up, walking over to us. "Why don't you two let Touhi-kun explain himself?"

"Ah, but it's quite private…"

"Private, eh? You can say it here!" Tamaki-senpai strode to his side and glared ominously.

"Uh, but… not here, really…" he started to redden.

Hikaru, Kaoru and Tamaki-senpai all stared at him sinisterly. Tamaki-senpai then brushed his hair away from his eyes and faced the last of his guests who were watching the spectacle, clutching each other in anticipation for the next scene.

"Do take leave, my princesses," he turned to them, brows furrowing. He held their gazes for a few moments before looking down (at the perfectly shiny and cheerful looking floor) in (mock) sorrow.

"I do not want the innocent to partake in this bloody battle."

The girls obeyed with cries of "I love you Tamaki-kun!" as they stumbled out in tears, while I noticed Touhi's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed in silent terror.

Honey-senpai finally noticed the commotion (but only because he had finished the last pastry). "What's going on?" he got down from his chair, Usa-chan in one hand.

"Nothing," I sighed, meaning it, my agitation on the rise with the mountain coming out of the molehill.

Kyouya-senpai shrugged at the whole commotion and, deciding to wash his hands off it, went over to check on Mori-senpai.

"NOTHING?" the Hitachiin brothers and our darling president practically screamed at Touhi, who cowered and peered at me from behind his schoolbag – he was calling for help.

Honey-senpai was completely clueless and ran over to Touhi.

"Hi! Who are you?" he tugged on the leg of the boy's trousers.

"Ah, Honey-senpai, don't do that to the enemy, he may harm you!" Tamaki-senpai dove over to obstruct whatever that was (not) going to happen. Apparently our president could not process the already-contained information that Honey-senpai was the one who could harm Touhi anytime.

Touhi, who was at least Mori-senpai's height, looked down at Honey-senpai with raised brows. "I'm, uh, Midoribana Touhi. Hello."

Honey-senpai's face brightened. "Ah, Tou-chan! What are you here for?"

Tamaki-senpai landed with a dull thud. "He's… fraternizing… with the enemy…" his hand rose from his side, trembling.

**x**

"Why is Tamaki twitching on the floor?" Kyouya-senpai frowned as he led the pair of teary-eyed ladies (who had been, obviously, rejected by Morinozuka "The Wild" Takashi) to the door. Mori-senpai trailed behind him, pinching the corners of his eyes to wake himself up after two solid hours of sitting down saying the same stuff over and over (and over) again.

"Tono is just very affected," the twins nodded agreeably to each other, directing the response to Kyouya-senpai.

"By?" Mori-senpai voiced, the corner of his eye catching Touhi but as always, he minded his own business.

"Takashi!" Honey-senpai bounded over to the senior, and climbed up to his upper torso as if he were a tree. "You were in there very, very long. Tama-chan is very bothered by Tou-chan here…"

Touhi tried to get out of the deathtrap. "Haruhi-senpai, I just wanted to ask-"

"Excuse me, but this is getting extremely boring," Renge butted in, her tape recorder suddenly nowhere in sight. The young stranger turned a brilliant pink as she faced him. "Since we already know your name, where are you from?" she demanded, stabbing her forefinger into his chest, not unkindly.

"K-Kouei A-A-A-Academ-my-" he backed away from her, blanching.

"Where's that?" she advanced towards him.

"Sa-Saita-tama-"

Frustrated at not being able to get back to my Physics text, I interrupted.

"Right – Renge-chan, Touhi-kun obviously cannot handle girls very well, so let me ask. I'll get straight to the point, Touhi-kun. Sorry for wasting your time just now – what do you want to see me about?"

"This is the last time I will tolerate this incorrigible behavior!" Renge screamed, stepping onto her platform. As she disappeared she shrieked, "I'm never going to help this club again!"

"Is she okay?" Touhi asked as I stepped towards the boy and took him by the arm.

"Oh, she'll be back," I dismissed with a wave of my hand.

"Haruhi!" I heard a few strangled voices call out in desperation (no prizes for guessing who) as I led Touhi to a couch and sat him down.

"Right. You may speak."

He blushed as he began. "Just now, that girl you were talking to during lunch – Hakozawa Tomoyo?"

I tilted my head. "You know Tomoyo-chan?"

From the corner of my eye I saw the Host Club members creeping nearer and nearer, save for Kyouya-senpai, whom I always suspected had a hearing radius of a cyborg. I turned and shot them my most lethal glare, making them hastily retreat into the background. I decided to glower at them a bit before turning to smile at Touhi-kun as sweetly as I could, probably on purpose just to irritate my fellow 'compatriots'. (I heard various thumps in the background, probably due to excessive face-faulting.)

"So, as I was saying - you know Tomoyo-chan?"

"Not really," he responded sheepishly. "I've always admired her from a distance," he dreamily sighed, staring into the space somewhere beside my left ear. "She can play the violin very well, you know."

"Yes, I do know about that fact."

He turned to face me. "Haruhi-senpai, you've got to be honest with me, okay?"

"Okay. This was why you were looking for me for four hours, right?"

"-Is she your girlfriend?"

I slouched in disbelief, my eyes narrowing. "You searched for over four hours just to ask me this?"

"Ah, yes, actually… Haruhi-senpai, I've been in love with her for three years and never once had I been able to get near her. I… I can't speak to girls. And if I come into physical contact with them I get dizzy – it's like how some people see blood. It's like I'm allergic to girls."

_Wait till you know that I'm one._

"Yes, I've noticed," I sighed, folding my fingers together on my lap. "Anyway, Tomoyo-chan is only my junior high schoolmate."

"Ah, so that's how it is!" he grinned like a lovesick monkey. "I first saw her during my first year in junior high, when she played a solo piece during a national competition that my school participated in as well. I was mesmerized by everything about her."

"Why didn't you talk to her then?"

"My school performed later, and her orchestra had already left. I waited for a year to see her again at the same competition, but her school didn't get in. And for our third year, we finally met again, but I chickened out in the end…" he recounted sadly.

He put his head into his hands. "Until just now, when I saw her, I thought it must be the work of fate! How else would I have met her? It couldn't be a mere coincidence that my mother and father decided to move their companies' headquarters to Tokyo and enroll me in this school! We even got matriculated on the same day!"

"Oh!" Tamaki-senpai's dramatic exclamation punctuated the eavesdropping air. "The intricacies of love!"

_Here we go again…_

"Touhi-kun!" Tamaki-senpai held Touhi's hands and the latter stared in bewilderment.

"Ah, um, senpai, I thought I was the enemy…"

"No, no, no! I have misunderstood you, Touhi-kun. Come, let us search for your love!"

"You're just happy that he isn't interested in Haruhi, Tono!" the twins grumbled into Tamaki-senpai's ears.

Touhi's eyes shot between me and Tamaki-senpai, who was immediately engaged in a shoutfest with his antagonists. "You're gay?" he whispered, gripping my elbow lightly.

I held up my hands in alarm. "No, I'm not!"

Honey-senpai bounded over with Mori-senpai and smiled innocently at Touhi. Then, he pointed at me and announced, "Takashi, Haru-chan is a girl, right?"

"Aa."

Touhi's eyes widened in realization before he released his hold on my elbow. His face bleached white, and before I could say his name he was unconscious.

_These rich bastards_, I grieved as Kyouya-senpai deftly whipped out a camera in that split second, capturing Touhi's limp form against my body in a very compromising position.


	4. Humbug

**IMPORTANT: **Readers, please try your best to give me substantial reviews. That's what helps me the most. I appreciate it if you like my fic, but I get rather upset if you keep wanting more, more, more… It takes a lot of late nights and editing for just one chapter, and this fic is a _trilogy _(**read my profile page**), and I write a few chapters simultaneously to ensure the sequencing is in order. And if you're wondering why Chp. 3 was posted so fast, it's because it was written while Chp. 2 was still going on. Both have over 3000 words, and it really is not easy. Please be considerate – and if you can add me to your alerts list, I'm sure you can review as well, or PM. It's not that I want to be a 'popular author', I just want to improve. But honestly, I am happy to see that all of you enjoy my fic, and I don't know how to thank you enough. It's just that I believe I'll be happier if you could give me feedback via PM or reviewing my fic. Thank you all so much, I hope you enjoy this chapter. (To those who gave a good review, you know who you are, and I appreciate it.)

**4: Humbug**

**10:57 – Second day of spring break, just outside the Fujioka residence**

I managed to get the Sunday Morning Specials from the supermarket again, and was grinning like an idiot to myself when I suddenly caught sight of someone familiar.

"Tomoyo-chan…?"

She looked up at me, the whites of her eyes slightly pinkish. "Senpai…" she rasped, before clearing her throat hurriedly and standing up from the step she was sitting on.

I noticed the duffel bag and backpack beside her. "What's going on?" I implored, setting down the bag of groceries. "Are you here to look for me? I thought you wouldn't be free during this spring break?"

She gave me a watery smile and wiped her eyes. "I… I got chased out of the house."

"What? Why?"

"Something happened at home and my stepmother got very angry at me… "

"But that doesn't warrant her to chase you out!"

"It would have been hell to stay anyway," she replied, her emerald orbs glistening with tears.

"Tomoyo-chan…" I had no idea how to comfort her.

"Actually I… I didn't want to impose on anyone but I don't have enough money right now to rent a room anywhere… And my stepsisters… They just threw me in the car and dumped me five blocks down before telling me never to go back… I couldn't think of anyone who lives in this area except for you, and I don't have close friends…"

"Why did they choose to bring you here?" I touched her arm gently.

She looked up at me, her eyes wide. "Actually… I've never thought of that before… But my stepsisters aren't very good navigators on the road – they get driven around more than they drive around – and my guess is that they only knew how to come this far," she managed a small giggle.

It was then I heard a loud screeching coming from behind me – it wasn't a car, that was for sure…

"AIEEEEEEEE, WE'RE HERE AGAIN! I RECOGNISE THIS PLACE! YOU'RE GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES!"

"If you're so clever, you drive! BITCH!"

"STOP QUARRELING, IDIOTS! Just _remember_, the next time we need to throw anyone out we have to get the _servants _to do it…"

A gaggle of girls who all looked almost the same (apart from the fact that all of them had on makeup that was at least an inch thick) drove past in a large sports car with its hood down, scrambling over each other. The car was swerving dangerously around the one-way street, and I held out a hand to push Tomoyo-chan back a little as they drove past, their cries fading into the distance.

"What is this world coming to?" I complained. "That was very inconsiderate."

I heard her sigh heavily, and looked at her quizzically. She turned to me and confessed, "Those are my stepsisters."

"What?" I exclaimed. "All of them?"

"Yes. Twins and a set of triplets."

I gawked. I didn't imagine that Tomoyo-chan would have a group of such people related to her. She always seemed innocent and cheerful and refined, but the people in the car had skirts that might as well have not been there, and the smell of their perfume could fumigate the entire street if they hadn't driven so fast.

"Don't be so surprised, Senpai…" Tomoyo-chan smiled. "I take after my mother. They're my father's children," her voice took on a slightly bitter tone.

"Didn't your mother say anything when your stepmother chased you out?"

Tomoyo-chan cocked her head. "My mother? My mother died while giving birth to me. That's why my stepmother has so much power over the house."

_Ack._

"I'm sorry," I hastily replied.

"It's okay, really. I've never met her, so I can't remember anything about her. It's good in a sense that it saves me a lot of sorrow…"

_Tomoyo-chan…_

"And besides, I'm a very private person so it's not your fault if you don't know…" she gave me a small smile, looking down at her sneakers.

I scrutinized the girl beside me. All I could see was the sorrow etched into her delicate features and the broad shoulders that seemed to carry the weight of the world. The auburn locks waving in the spring wind seemed like a personification of her struggle to be free… She was much bigger than me, and yet she seemed like a wounded kitten I desperately wanted to nurse till all the wounds had healed and maybe, just maybe, I could help her get back what she deserved.

"Say, Tomoyo-chan," I casually started. "Can you cook?"

Her eyes averted in thought. "I cook my own meals, but I don't think I'm very good..."

"That's enough," I grinned, picking up her backpack and my groceries. "Come on in," I started to go up the steps.

"Senpai…"

"Don't worry, Tomoyo-chan. We may not be very rich, but we still have a place to keep you safe," I winked.

She broke out into a smile.

"Tomoyo-chan," I went down the steps again to face her. "Everyone changes as they grow up – maybe this experience is part of your growing process. But I'm sure you'll only walk out a better person, and leave your old self behind."

Even though I was a few steps higher than her, her 175 centimeters made up the difference. She drew herself up to full height and stared at me straight in the eye, her determination raging.

"I understand, Senpai."

_Good._

**x**

**11:30 – Preparing lunch**

"Did you have any one look after you after your mother passed away?" I was curious to find out.

"My sister," Tomoyo-chan related cheerfully, chopping up the carrots. "My mother had two children with my father, six years apart."

"Where is she now, then?"

"She's in Aomori, happily married," Tomoyo-chan looked up and gave the wall in front of her the brightest smile I had ever seen. "She got married in December."

"Aa," I nodded, my curiosity towards this junior of mine building up by the second. Either she was reluctant to tell me about herself, or she was oblivious to the fact that my questions directed to her for the past half hour had all been about her family and I wanted to know more.

So far I had found out that she was the youngest of seven girls, and her family was very well off. Her sisters drove her out themselves partly because to walk out from the porch of the home to the main gate took fifteen minutes so if they wanted to get her out of their mother's sight as soon as possible, the best option was to drive. I could only imagine how big the house was.

The other reason was because they wanted to see her suffer.

"I love my sister very, very much." This time I did not have to prompt her, and she rambled on.

"I was eight years old when my stepmother claimed that Aneki stole something, and used that as a basis to chase her out of the house. Aneki wanted to bring me along, but my step-mother didn't let her because I am the-"

She clamped her hand over her mouth.

I looked up and shot her a puzzled glance.

"Eh-ehehehehehe! Um, I'm done with the carrots," she handed me the bowl of orange bits. I raised an eyebrow at her strange behavior.

"Are you all right, Tomoyo-chan?"

"Ah, _of course_ I'm all right, Senpai!" she replied, a little too cheerfully. "Here!"

I accepted the porcelain bowl, letting go of Tomoyo-chan's issues, and suddenly remembered something. "Tomoyo-chan… I don't have a very big room, but I believe I still can let you have some space on the floor. We have a spare futon, and I can clear up some of my books-"

"Ah, it's all right!" she hastily cut in. "I-I can sleep in the living room."

"But you're a guest!"

"No, I'm a tenant. I'll pay rent. Just let me sleep in the living room," she pleaded, her cheeks flushing.

"And where would your money come from?" I held up the spoon I was using questioningly.

"Actually I have a job… I was planning to work there full time this spring break but today I didn't have the chance to go down… I…"

"You have to have a job? Even though your family owns such a big car and your sisters are clad in brands that I've only seen on television?"

She bit her lip. "I have to pay for my own transport and food… And clothes, if I need any. My school fees are taken care of by my family, though now that I got the scholarship they don't have to pay anything…"

I shook my head in disbelief. "So you're telling me that your well-off parents don't even give you any money for the basic things like transport and food?"

"Senpai, it's okay-"

"It's not okay," I insisted, not intending to sound so sharp. She reeled back.

"I'm sorry, Tomoyo-chan. I just can't accept that there are parents like that!"

She kept quiet, fingering her apron.

"I'm used to it, Senpai."

"Tomoyo-chan-"

"I've been working ever since I started junior high… But only on weekends and holidays. It helps me get by," she murmured sadly.

_She's been working for three years already…?_

"I mean, I've turned out fine, haven't I? In school I got good grades, I was in two clubs – life goes on, Senpai… I'm fine with it, really."

I sighed, putting down the spoon. "I hope you really are fine. But you only have to give me as much as I ask from you every month, all right?"

She objected, "No, that wouldn't be fair-"

"Tomoyo-chan, if you continue to object I believe I have to declare the living room out of bounds to you."

She stopped, meekly looking up at me.

"Right then. If you really want to sleep in the living room so badly, I won't force you to sleep anywhere else, all right?"

Her apprehensiveness melted into relief. "Senpai…" she broke into a grin. "Thank you!"

"Don't mention it. Ah, yes. I'm supposed to tell you why I'm dressed like a boy."

She was very interested, evidently. Her eyes were practically gleaming in hunger for the information.

"Oh, pray tell."

"How should I begin…" I sighed. "Okay. It started last spring, when I was looking for a place to study…"

**x**

**12:31 – Ranka**

A loud yawn from behind me signaled the presence of my father. I turned around and greeted, "Good morning!"

Tomoyo-chan stared at my father, taking in his long-haired _okama_ glory.

"Ah, I forgot to tell you. Tomoyo-chan, my dad is actually-"

"_Ranka-san_?" Tomoyo-chan exclaimed, all the disbelief evident in her voice.

My jaw went slack. _How could she…_

"Eh?" Dad rubbed the sleep away from his eyes and started to notice Tomoyo-chan. Then his eyes started to widen.

"_Tomoyo-chan_? What are you doing in my house?"

My line of vision shuffled between my father and Tomoyo-chan a few times. "How on earth-?" I exclaimed.

"Ah, Ranka-san is a regular at our shop…" Tomoyo-chan started.

"What does your shop sell?"

Dad gave me a bashful smile and waved his hand about. "Ahahahaha… Ehehe…"

"Get to the point, Otou-san."

"…Lingerie."

I sighed. "So that's where they've been coming from."

**x**

"I see," Dad nodded grimly. "That's what happened."

"So, Tomoyo-chan will be living with us from now!" I announced happily, setting the table for lunch.

"WHAT?" Dad shot up to his feet. "I OBJECT!" he pointed at Tomoyo-chan, who rushed over and clapped a hand over his mouth, whispering something into his ear.

I stared at them. "What's going on…"

"Nothing, nothing," Tomoyo-chan gave me a weak laugh and glared at my father. I was still highly suspicious as she let go of him.

"Well, since you're sleeping in the living room, I guess it will be okay…" Dad muttered to her.

"Thank you, Ranka-san," I heard Tomoyo-chan murmur back in a clipped tone.

"_What_ is going on?" I demanded, wagging the bunch of chopsticks at them.

"Nothing!" the two cheered, flashing me peace signs as they draped their arms around each other's shoulders.

_They remind me of a pair of people…_

I sighed, and arranged the chopsticks. "Tomoyo-chan's going to pay rent, you know. Don't be such a scrooge, Otou-san. We should be the ones feeling embarrassed since she's sleeping in the living room."

"No, Ranka-san didn't mean it that way-" Tomoyo started, but she was cut off.

"You paying rent?" he smiled in a weird way.

"Uh… Yes…" Tomoyo-chan looked terrified at the shadows obscuring Dad's face.

"Right then!" he clapped cheerfully, running to the small table at which we were going to have lunch. He patted the seat beside him. "Come sit here, Tomoyo-chan–!"

Tomoyo walked over slowly, her eyebrow twitching. "I'm sorry for troubling you," she said to my father, half meaning it.

"Ah, it's all right!" he beamed. "I'm glad to have you around. The more the merrier, don't you think?"

"You sure change your mind fast, don't you?" she narrowed her eyes, seating herself.

Then he turned to me. "Haruhi… You're really your mother's daughter, helping the innocent!" He flashed me a thumbs up.

"That's a nice compliment," I chuckled before looking at Tomoyo. "Sorry if we're a weird family, Tomoyo-chan."

"Mm, not at all…" she gave me a weak smile, staring at Dad from the corner of her eye. "But honestly," she straightened up, "I'm really happy to be here. Even though Ranka-san can be very different at home…"

"Oi, oi, don't badmouth me in front of my daughter!"

"Ahaha, I shall do it behind your back then!"

I grinned at them, glad that under all the arguing, we would be living together just fine.

**x**

**23:05 – The weekend before school starts**

"WE'RE HOME!" Dad and Tomoyo cheered as they fought their way in, armed with various shopping bags.

"Wow, where did you two go?" I got up from my desk and went to greet them at the door.

They were both _drunk_.

"Otou-san, Tomoyo-chan's underage! How could you let her drink!" I cried, pulling them in. Their cheeks were rosy and they were just lolling around, giggling deliriously.

"It's okay, _hic,_ Senpai, ahahaha… We won't do it, _hic,_ again!" Tomoyo-chan cried, putting down her bags.

"Otou-san, you should be more responsible, as the adult…" I grumbled, running to fetch some hot towels. "Where did you guys go?"

"We met up at the train station to go shopping! And then… ahahaha… we went to the convenience store to get BEER… Yay!" Dad gushed, head-locking Tomoyo-chan and flinging the shopping bags to one side. She squirmed and tried to get out of his grasp, giggling as she went.

"It's not beer… _hic_… It's 7-UP…" she rapped the side of my dad's head with her knuckles.

"It's beer!"

"You said, _hic_, it's 7-UP..."

"Tomoyo-chan," I grabbed her arm and led her away from my father, "where did you get the money to buy all these?"

"I got my pay today," she slurred. "Apparently, _hic,_ my family also gave me extra money to, _hic,_ shut me up."

"Shut you up, shut you up!" Dad guffawed, pointing to the ceiling.

I sighed and gave both of them the hot towels, as they sprawled onto the floor simultaneously and slammed the towels against their foreheads. "What about shutting Tomoyo-chan up?" I asked, as I entered into the kitchen to make some tea to sober them up.

"It's a se-cr-et!" they laughed together maniacally, kicking the floor.

"We can't let Haruhi know…" Dad put a finger to his lips in a loud whisper. Tomoyo-chan nodded and whispered, "Shhh… Don't let her know!"

"Know what?"

"That Tomoyo-chan is an okama!"

"_You're_ the, _hic_, okama!"

"That's enough, you two. Stop spouting nonsense, Otou-san."

"It's true, am I right? Tomoyo-chan?"

"_Right_… _hic…_ But I don't want to be, _hic_, an okama, I want to be a, _hic, _boy…"

"But you are a boy!"

"No no no…"

"Don't deny it, HAHA!"

"Stoooopid okamaaaaa…"

_Boy, is this going to be a long night or what._

**x**

**11:27 – The following day**

"Did I say anything, er, weird last night?" Dad asked as he popped two painkillers into his mouth to rid his headache. Tomoyo-chan staggered into the kitchen with an obvious hangover, propping herself against the shelves and pouring a glass of water.

I shrugged. "Lots of weird stuff."

"Like what?" he swallowed before washing down the pills with water.

"Hmm," I mused. "Like Tomoyo-chan being a boy."

They suddenly choked, spraying water all over the place.

"Ranka-san!" Tomoyo screamed, pointing a finger accusatorily at my father.

"I _told_ you we should have told her in the first place!" Dad paced at top speed around the kitchen, tugging on his hair.

"You made me drunk!" Tomoyo wailed. "If I weren't drunk I could have stopped you!"

"You _agreed_ to have a drink with me!"

"You told me it was the new BITTER 7-UP!"

"You BELIEVED me!"

"All right, stop!" I held up my hands. "What's going on?"

Tomoyo fell on the floor, writhing as she groaned, "This is bad… Bad…"

Dad sighed and put his palm to his forehead in resignation. "Haruhi," he looked up at me after awhile. "It may be hard to accept this, but… Tomoyo-chan is a guy."

With that statement made, Tomoyo started to moan, burying her face into the tatami.

**x**

"Last year I was in Ginza, shopping for lingerie with some of my colleagues," Dad explained. Tomoyo knelt beside him, twiddling her (…his?) thumbs.

"So we stepped into Mon Cherie Lingerie-"

"_Mon Cherie Lingerie_?" I was shocked. "That's like, well over 10 000 yen per bra and panty set!"

"Ehehe, that's why I always cut off the price tags and labels before I give you yours…" Dad offered me a weak smile. I was too offended to speak.

_So that's why I have to live such a frugal life…My dad spends money on lingerie._

"A-Anyway," Dad quickly recovered, "being professionals, we knew immediately that the girl who was showing us the new designs was a cross-dresser. We were, naturally, very excited, because how often do you find an okama in a high-end lingerie boutique frequented by people who had an annual income of 150 million yen?"

Tomoyo-chan slouched at Dad's words, and looked sideways at him. The words 'okama' were obviously pejorative to her.

"So we approached him and asked him quietly if his parents knew that he was cross-dressing. He, of course, was so shocked that he couldn't say anything. We assured him that we wouldn't tell anyone and perhaps he could drop by the bar for a chat one of these days."

"I declined," Tomoyo butted in.

"Naturally," I nodded.

Dad gave us a Look, and continued with his story. "After that incident, I decided to make myself a permanent customer of Mon Cherie Lingerie because it's better to buy a few that are of good quality-"

"A few, indeed-"

"-rather than many that have poor workmanship and aren't sturdy at all, right? And Haruhi, children should be seen and not heard," Dad cockily put up his hand with a flourish.

I sweatdropped.

"On my second visit, I noticed Tomoyo-chan was very apprehensive about providing me with service, but I beckoned to him and he reluctantly dragged himself over. He was very convincing as a girl, I have to admit. Perhaps even better than I am – even when he shuffles his feet it's so girlish."

"If that's meant as a compliment-"

"What did I say, Tomoyo-chan? Children should be seen and not heard!" he deftly gave the back of Tomoyo's head a light slap. I saw his (…her?) eyes tear up in pain.

"I couldn't help but be curious about why he was cross-dressing since he didn't seem the type to go off the heterosexual road. After much coaxing, he finally told me."

"Oi, Ranka-san, you were waiting for me outside the shop till we had to close! And you _threatened_ to tell everyone on the street I was a boy if I didn't tell you!"

Dad shot Tomoyo-chan a death glare, and he (…okay, HE) quickly retreated.

"I walked home with this kid," Dad gestured, "and he revealed that his real name is… uh… I forgot… What's your name?"

"Mikazawa Hideyo," Tomoyo-chan sighed in frustration.

"Ah yes yes yes. The only son of Mikazawa Masadono, right?"

"Who's he?" I asked.

"He owns Golden Sierra Holdings," Tomoyo replied tiredly. "It's a company that owns other brands across different industrial sectors. One of the brands owned is Mon Cherie Lingerie."

"So you're actually… working for you father?"

"Technically, yes."

Dad looked at me solemnly. "Tomoyo-chan has led a very sad life."

"Ranka-san…" Tomoyo warned.

"Stop trying to avoid the subject," Dad frowned.

"It's – okay, Ranka-san. Let's just… forget everything."

"It's okay? Being forced to be a girl is okay? Darling, your outlook on life is too optimistic."

"Wait, you were _forced_ to be a girl?" The facts were starting to get to me.

"I am the only son of Mikazawa Masadono," Tomoyo-chan finally gave in, revealing his voice to be, in actual fact, much deeper that it usually was. "I am the youngest child borne by the first wife. My grandfather chose my mother as my father's bride because she was half-Japanese – it's a fetish that my grandfather had, foreign-looking women. My grandmother was also half-Japanese.

"Unfortunately, my father only likes Japanese women. While my mother was pregnant with my sister, he had an affair with my mother's maid, who eventually became my step-mother after they found out the woman was with child. My mother disliked the polygamous ways of my father but she could not do anything because their arranged marriage was also used to keep her father's company afloat.

"After my mother 'fell from grace', she became sickly. My father's second wife quickly took the chance to hold the reins and she twisted my dad around her little finger. She bore him children, and my sister was made their personal maid – helping out in the kitchen, cleaning up after them, washing their bathroom floors. That woman knew that she had to get rid of my sister and my mother to let her daughters and her inherit the family fortune.

"Therefore, I was conceived by an intentional accident. My sister made my father drunk – he could never hold his liquor well – and tricked him into my mother's room. My mother knew that it was a risk to be pregnant because of her health, but to ensure that the other woman could not cause my father's empire to collapse, she had to take the chance and hopefully, produce an heir.

"Of course, upon the death of my mother, our step-mother knew that she had one down, but a more powerful one to deal with – me. I was the apple of my father's eye, being the only boy. He didn't care much for my other siblings because they were all girls, which he doesn't especially like.

"My step-mother decided to 'adopt' me as her own, much to the chagrin of my sister and the delight of my father – the silly man was never at home and was more than happy to have someone care for his beloved son. She treated me civilly for my first eight years, but after she chased my sister out, everything changed.

"The twins started to bully me and make me wear girl's clothes, and as I grew they forced bras on me. They would do things like keep track of me as if I were a human pet, and do things like increase the padding in the bras they gave me as I grew older. They forced me to take on the identity of a girl so no one would know that I was the heir."

"How despicable," Dad sniffled, wringing a wet handkerchief by his side.

"My step-mother had always registered me in schools under the name Hakozawa Tomoyo, after my mother's maiden name. She didn't want me to be the one to carry the Mikazawa family name into any elite society, so from elementary school to junior high I was not allowed to attend private schools like my step-sisters. I was hence kept out of the public eye, which my step-mother told my father was a 'promotional tactic' so that people would sit up once I made my debut in the industry.

"I knew that there was no use to fight back, so I bade my time – the only way for me to get out of my trap was to leave the house. You could say that getting the scholarship to Ouran was all a part of my plan."

"Tomoyo-chan, I'm so _proud_ of you!" Dad cried, flinging his arms around the younger cross-dresser.

"That woman could not do anything to prevent me from entering Ouran for a number of reasons – _do_ let go, Ranka-san – I had written a chronicle of my fifteen years and sent it to my sister's husband, who works for a large publishing firm. Once she forbade me to attend the school I would instruct him to publish the story, washing every inch of dirty linen of the Mikazawa family in public. Another reason was because I had evidence of an affair she had with one of the chauffeurs, leading to the birth of the triplets. She chased me out of the house in anger."

"And your dad found out," my father raised his hand dramatically.

"My father realized only a few days ago that my step-mother had been ill-treating my sister and I, but he begged me not to say anything because it would send Golden Sierra's reputation on a one-way trip to hell. He cried and told me he wasn't a good father, and gave me a large sum of money. Of course, I accepted his money because I am poor but he is rich, and I am practical that way-"

"Tomoyo-chan is _so_ smart!"

"-for heaven's sake, Ranka-san, don't interrupt! You should always respect the one who is speaking!"

Dad sulked and wrapped his arm around his knees, a finger circling the floor like a certain blonde I know.

"I told him that it wouldn't help our relationship and money wasn't what I really wanted. He just begged me not to publish the story about the Mikazawa family on account that I am his son… I had to agree, because after all, he can't be blamed for being stupid. Plus he _is_ my father."

"So that was what you guys meant when you said your family gave you some money to 'shut you up'!" I realized.

"His dad is giving him five million yen every month," Dad sighed in admiration, folding his hands and propping his chin on them.

"Good grief, you're an _okane mochi_!" I couldn't help but accuse.

Tomoyo-chan stared at me. "Ah, I presume you're right… I do have five million yen in my bank account. But it's still a mere fraction of my father's empire."

"But aren't you blackmailing your own family?"

Dad cut in. "For what they did to him, Haruhi, I think it's worth it."

"Ranka-san-"

"His sisters always shave his legs and 'accidentally' cut him," Dad lifted up Tomoyo's skirt and revealed a long, white scar.

"It's not _always_, Ranka-san…"

"Tomoyo-chan…" I decided to ask the question that had been pressing on my mind. "Don't you want to be who you are?"

He smiled serenely at me. "Ah, that. I have always wanted to, of course. But I have to keep a promise to my father. Being who I want to be would mean telling the world that I am a boy, and that will change the most fundamental records that I have in my school, my workplace and virtually every organization that I have ever been affiliated to since I was in elementary school."

I was quiet; the cogs in my head were slowly turning.

"Ah, Tomoyo-chan… It's so unfair for you. You're not even bi," Dad wept, hugging Tomoyo-chan close to him. "I wish that you could somehow find a way to get out of this mess, honestly. Even though we aren't related, I feel a sort of-"

"That's it!" I thumped my fist into my palm. "Tomoyo-chan, from today you shall be Hakozawa Hideyo."

"Eh?"

I bit my lip, my brain still sizzling from the ideas that were flooding in. "You can't be Mikazawa Hideyo, because that will give you away, but I'm sure you can be Hakozawa Hideyo without any problem. After all, it's only one character different, right? You can just tell the teacher you wrote your name wrongly during matriculation."

"Who on earth would write their own name wrongly-" Dad started, before I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Oh, ehehehe, yeah… I did," he gave us a feeble laugh. "On the day I enrolled Haruhi in junior high."

"Don't forget the time you filled in the Mon Cherie Lingerie staff service survey."

"Oh, yeah- _Oi_, what are you making me say, you precocious brat, you! I said not to talk bad about me in front of my daughter!"

"Would you two cut it out and listen to the rest of the plan?" I sighed, exasperated. "As for the gender – the school's list reflects your gender as female, but since the kanji for your name is rather androgynous, no one from the administration should find out if you assume a male identity. Keep your student card out of sight. If you change your gait and your speech, I'm sure you can pass off as a boy. Wait a minute, what am I saying? You _are_ a boy."

"So I have to pretend to be a girl who is pretending to be a boy?" he finished, understanding what I was driving at.

"Yes, that's it. Have you bought your school uniform yet?"

"Not yet…"

"We have to get you a boy's uniform. Otou-san, could you do something about his image?"

"Leave it to me, my terrifically smart, genius daughter. Now, snip snip here, snip snip there-"

"Ranka-san, I don't want to cut my _hair_!"

I was startled. "Good grief, don't shriek. You're a _guy_, for crying out loud, what do you want long hair for?"

"Hey, that's getting personal, Haruhi!"

"Otou-san, he's not even an _okama_, he's going to enter high school!"

"Don't argue with me, young lady!"

"Who says boys cannot have long hair?" protested our precious boy-turned-girl-turned-boy, stroking his long, silky auburn tresses.

Dad and I stopped arguing. "That's true…" we mused, propping our chins with our index finger.

"Right then," Dad beamed, clapping his hands on the youth's shoulders. "From now on, we shall call you Hideyo-chan."

"Hideyo…-chan?" the newly christened Hideyo suddenly had an eyebrow twitching like crazy.

Dad nodded over-enthusiastically. "Of course! Even though you're not 'Tomoyo-chan' anymore, in our hearts you'll always be Tomoyo-chan. We should remember a little bit of the good things about Tomoyo-chan, right? So, we don't call you Hideyo-kun – in this home, we call you Hideyo-chan!"

Hideyo gave up. "Whatever rocks your boat."

"Great! Haruhi, call him Hideyo-chan okay?"

"Uh, okay…" I sweatdropped, not knowing if Dad really meant what he said earlier or if he was just trying to make a dig at Hideyo's weird attempts to retain some effeminacy. I knew it wouldn't do me good to argue anyway, because I'd probably be overruled by his weird logic.

"Yay!" my father pointed to the ceiling in Renge fashion. "Now! Let's get this started!"

I smiled at Hideyo as Dad ruffled his hair, delighted that things were starting to look up for him. Then I remembered the five million yen in his bank account and my smile broke into a grin.

I hadn't fixed the rent yet.

_These rich bastards_, I chuckled inwardly, unable to help myself.

**xXx**

**Important Notes**: 'Aneki' means elder sister, and somehow I feel that addressing Ranka as 'otou-san' out of dialogue is extremely weird, so Haruhi will refer to him as 'Dad'. Sorry if you find this weird, but if it works both ways for you then everything's swell :)

I didn't want to use 'rich bastard' when Haruhi realized that Tomoyo is rich because it seemed rude to say, "You're a rich bastard!" so I used '_okane mochi'_, which literally means 'rich man'. Ehehe. Hope you guys understand.

10 000 yen is about 85 USD.

Hakozawa Tomoyo 葉小沢　知世

Mikazawa Hideyo 見賀沢　英世

Therefore, Hakozawa Hideyo葉小沢 英世


	5. Herald of Spring

**Chapter note: **Usually the '-baba' suffix is for a grandmotherly figure, like 'Yubaba' in Spirited Away. So I used 'Haruhi-baba' to express the kind of genteel smile she was trying to emulate. Haha.

_Kakigori_ is a summer dessert from Japan. Iit can be likened to Taiwan's _cuobing_, Singapore's _ice kachang_, Korea's _bingsu _and the Philippines' _halo-halo,_ which probably makes it an Asian street dessert. It involves shaved ice topped with syrup. I was thinking that it would suit Haruhi because it isn't too sweet - you can usually decide on how much syrup you want, on the spot. Yes, I live in a commoner's world.

**Author's note: **I fantasized a bit about the grounds of Ouran, so I hope you guys don't kill me for it :P Have fun reading. This chapter has about 5300 words. Oh, and I am aware that this chapter doesn't have a climax. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. However I assure you, effort did go into this.

**5: Herald of Spring**

**06:55 – First day of the new school year**

"Hideyo-chan!" I rapped the bathroom door sharply. "We have to get on the bus by 7:20, you hear?"

The door swung open and he stood there, his newly-dyed black hair pulled back into a low ponytail with an elastic band, and only a towel round his waist.

_So that's what you've been hiding under the dresses and lingerie…_I couldn't help but stare at the unblemished skin and taut stomach.

_How can anyone be so physically-endowed as a girl and a boy at the same time?_

I glanced at my reflection in the bathroom mirror behind Hideyo and got ridiculously jealous for two seconds.

"Senpai, help me! Ican'tgetmycontactsintomyeyes!" he whined in panic, Tomoyo-style. I sighed and ordered him to sit on the lavatory while I washed my hands. "You know, Hideyo-chan, if you want to get your identity back you have to shed the whole girly thing. Whining and using the bathroom for such a long time is taboo."

"Okay, Senpai," he nodded, clenching his fists to show resolve.

"Yes, you can have long hair, but be a man," I affirmed as I dried my hands on a towel. Placing the already-rinsed lens onto my index finger, I tilted his chin up and said, "Now, open your eyes-"

"I'm scared," he shut his eyelids tightly just as I made a move to put in the lens.

"Hideyo-chan! You've made me drop it," I complained, going down on all fours to find the lens, which was, thankfully, blue.

"Sorry, sorry…"

I rinsed the lens after checking that it wasn't damaged. "You'd better not be scared, because if you keep wasting time we'll be late for school."

He meekly nodded and opened his eyes wide. I tried again.

"Okay, take a deep breath. Good. Exhale. Look up, yes, that's it," I pulled his upper eyelid up and his lower eyelid down. "Just keep looking up until I tell you to, all right? Don't _nod_! Okay…" I placed the lens towards the bottom of his eye and instructed, "Now, slowly look down… All right, it's in!" I slowly removed my hand from his lower eyelid.

"Wait, wait. Look straight ahead," I said as I removed my other hand. "Close your eye and pat your lens into place, _gently_. Good."

"Done!" he cheered, flashing me a peace sign. I sighed.

"No, there's still the other eye…"

**x**

**07:57 – Walking past the school gate**

"We have about 30 minutes to check our classes and print out our timetables from the self-access area," I checked Hideyo's watch as we made it past the gate.

He appeared not to have heard me, since he was too distracted by the surroundings. "Why are we the only ones walking?" he asked, visibly excited as he looked around enthusiastically, a skip in his step.

"Because no one else takes public transport to school?" I suggested while two limousines drove past us. For the umpteenth time that morning I kept thinking how different he looked with the black hair, blue eyes, bangs and… flat chest.

"Oh, yeah…" he realized as he looked at the various types of luxury vehicles streaming in.

"Remember, out of the home you are Hakozawa Hideyo, but only when you're in school. Any place else and you're Tomoyo-chan, got it?"

"Got it." He gave me a Cheshire grin. "Oh yeah, Senpai?"

"Yes?"

"It feels a little bit weird, not wearing a bra…"

"Hideyo-chan," I sighed, smacking the back of his head lightly. "You're a boy! Snap out of the girl thing."

"Ah but it's so hard to change overnight…" He rubbed his head gingerly, staring at the floor. I'm pretty sure he was holding back tears.

We arrived at the porch just as a limousine glided up. Hideyo switched his bag to his other hand and mused, "I wonder what class I'll be in…"

"Well, we have to go to the self-access station to check," I answered.

"Oh, they don't use notice boards here?"

"They do, in a sense, but it's all electronic. They do put the notices up on the school website but I don't have internet access at home so I decided to exploit the school," I chuckled.

"Wow… This school is really elite in every sense eh? Technology and all. I should have expec- Ow!" Hideyo suddenly stumbled forwards, his hand flying to his head to check if there was a hole.

"Sorry!" came the apology.

I swiveled to see who was the one carrying the hockey stick that had met Hideyo-chan's skull.

"Ah, Touhi-kun!" I exclaimed. He raised his eyes to look at me.

The towering first-year had a hockey stick over his shoulder, a basketball bag in one hand and a soccer ball in the other. "H-H-Haruhi-senpai… G-Good m-m-morning."

**x**

_**17:55 – The first encounter with Touhi**_

"_GET HIM OFF HARUHI!" screamed the Host Club's three drama queens, pulling their cheeks downwards in horror and spiraling all over the place in shock._

_Mori-senpai's strides were precise and calculated – the moment he came over he lightly pushed Touhi's head off my shoulder and masterfully pulled his body away from mine._

"_All right?" Mori-senpai put a hand on my head in worry. _

_I nodded that I was fine. "But he's heavy," I groaned, rubbing my arm. Suddenly I remembered Kyouya-senpai's heinous act and fixated what I call a Look of Desperation on him._

"_Kyouya-senpai, could you please not take such photos anymore? The picture with Kanako-chan got me into a lot of trouble at home," I complained. _

"_You need to understand," Kyouya-senpai pushed his spectacles upwards in a gallant attempt to display his advantage of wisdom, "this is all for the good of the Host Club. You don't want us to run out of funds, do you?"_

"_Yes, but-"_

"_I'm glad you understand," he gave me a polite smile that looked extremely genuine (I was almost fooled) and strutted away with his evil accomplice (also known as the Nikon D200)._

"_Oh dear, should we shake him?" Honey-senpai pondered aloud as he bent over Touhi's limp figure. Tamaki-senpai stroked his chin and said, "I heard that commoners use salt to wake people up…I'll go get some salt!"_

_But before Tamaki-senpai could implement his plan, the twins ran in, carrying a jug each. "Make way, make way!" they cried as they charged towards Touhi._

"_The last time they did that, the girl got pneumonia," I heard Mori-senpai say as the water made contact. I could only sigh._

_Sputtering, the boy stirred and managed to push himself up into a sitting position, dabbing at his face with his sleeve vigorously. _

"_Are you all right, Tou-chan?" Honey-senpai peered at Touhi. _

"_Yes, I'm fine," he assured, blinking a few times. _

"_You really should try to overcome your fear of ladies," Tamaki-senpai preached, shaking his head at Touhi. "I can give you lessons, if you like."_

_The Hitachiin twins proceeded to exemplify this by acting as maidens in distress. Mori-senpai pushed in a board that had the sign "Lesson Number 1, Lifeskills" and Tamaki-senpai rushed towards the twins, grabbing them by the waists and giving each of them a look of deep concern. _

"_That's not a very nice thing to say," I objected before they could launch into any 'do-not-fret-my-princess-oh-Tamaki-kun!' speech. Tamaki-senpai burst into tears and retreated into his 'secret location' to observe the micro-organisms populating the floor. The twins shrugged while grinning widely and claiming, "We were only playing along!"_

"_I'm sure you'll be able to talk to girls soon, Touhi-kun," I gave him the nicest 'Haruhi-baba' smile that I could muster. His face began to redden like a beetroot and he murmured a word of thanks before getting up._

"_I have to go," his vision was limited to the tile directly in front of him. "Thank you all for your hospitality!" _

_With that, he ran out of the room in a fluster._

**x**

**07:58 – Before entering self-access area**

"Good morning!" I smiled genially.

"Good morning!" Hideyo chimed, giving Touhi a wide smile and shifting excitedly on his feet.

Hideyo was someone I classified under RUE – Rational Unless Excited. Which means that most of the time, the person who is in said class would behave in a very calm, composed manner, but when they are excited, they tend to be potential candidates for the funny farm.

The opposite of the RUE-type is the EUR-type. This, obviously, stands for Excited Unless Rational. An example would be Tamaki-senpai, but 'rational' may be an overstatement…

"A-ah… You…" Touhi's eyebrow started twitching as he caught sight of Hideyo. Then I remembered what Tamaki-senpai had said after Touhi ran out on that fateful day:

"_The moon revolves around the earth. The earth revolves round the sun. Touhi revolves around Tomoyo. What a spectacular paradigm of love."_

I mentally slapped my hand on my forehead, berating myself for clean forgetting about Touhi in my quest to restore Hideyo's male identity.

Touhi was still stuttering. "Y-You… Um… Aren't you…"

"Hi–! I'm Hakozawa Hideyo–!" the Innocent One hooked his briefcase around his right thumb and waved both his hands at Touhi, effectively shutting the latter up. I bumped his arm lightly with mine, trying to communicate that it wasn't very manly to wave like that.

"I won't try to shake hands with you because your hands are full," he pointed at the basketball and the soccer ball, making some sense of my hint as he deepened his voice and gripped his bag properly.

Touhi just squinted at the shorter boy. "You… You are a boy, right?"

Hideyo beamed, looked at me as if to say 'people think I'm a boy, yay!' and turned to Touhi to nod vehemently. He thudded his chest with his palm. "I'm a man!"

I slouched in despair. Was he trying to ruin his self-image, or was he really _that_ over the moon at being in Ouran Academy?

"How about you? What's your name? What class are you in?" Hideyo decided to probe further. Touhi was nonplussed – his eyebrows were narrowing so much that he looked as if he only had one. Then, something in his complicatedly-wired brain obviously clicked and he decided to recover.

"I… I'm Midoribana Touhi. I'm not sure about my class, actually. I don't know how to check. In my old school the system was different."

"Let's check our classes together then!"

"Um… okay. Sure."

I tugged on Hideyo's uniform to warn him of the impending doom (effeminate though he was, I was pretty sure Hideyo would feel bad if Touhi got confused about his own sexual orientation because of his Tomoyo-chan shadow) but instantly made a note to shut up.

He had turned and given me a megawatt smile, effectively telling me that Touhi was his first friend and he was very, _very_ excited to have someone talk to him as an equal.

Trust Haruhi-senpai to ruin it for him, eh?

Returning him a weak smile, I let go of the tail of his blazer, dusted it a bit to give Hideyo some confidence for the day, and resigned myself to the hardships of being a surrogate mother.

**x**

**08:12 – Checking classes**

In Ouran, the students are sorted at random with the help of the computer. Every year there will be a shuffle, so you get to interact with different classmates in all the three years. (It is also a good ruse to build business contacts.)

"Okay, I'm done," I signed out of my account and closed the browser window.

"What's your class, Senpai?" Hideyo peered at me from behind Touhi's shoulder. He was waiting for Touhi's page to load, having finished up with his task, and their computer was back-to-back with mine.

"Year 2 Group B," I replied. Hideyo was in 1-C, as he had delightedly proclaimed after learning the news. He believed C stood for _crème de la crème_, which meant it was a good class and people there will all be the best.

Then again, he would have twisted 1-A into A-grade students and 1-B into best of the best. Optimism was his middle name.

"I'm in1-D," Touhi announced, a hint of dejection in his voice.

"Ah, no worries! D stands for _distinction_," Hideyo cheered.

Touhi gave him a grin and quizzed, "How about E?"

"Excellence," Hideyo replied without skipping a beat, nodding affirmatively.

"F?" Touhi tried harder to stump him.

"Fantastically fabulous."

"Let's see you try G."

"Grand–! And, H is for Hideyo," he laughed more to himself than at anything else. Touhi started to complain about him being self-obsessed when a voice I hadn't heard for a week sounded behind me.

"Impressive display of the English language, I must say."

Something in my heart turned into lead and dragged it down into my gut. It was instinct at the moment, even though I couldn't place a finger on why I reacted that way.

"Ah, Kyouya-senpai," I turned, smiling with as much strength as I could muster. Something in my brain stirred and sent out a single instruction –_ keep Hideyo away from Kyouya-senpai_.

_But why?_ a voice inside me tried to reason it out.

_He would know. He would know. He is Kyouya-senpai. He will know who Tomoyo is._

"Oh, yes, Kyouya-senpai," I tugged on the third-year's arm, dragging him involuntarily away. His eyes widened (just noticeably) in surprise at my sudden enthusiasm towards him.

"I have something to discuss with you," I beamed at him, as soon as we were alone in a corner. I looked over his shoulder and motioned for the first-years to run along, and they did, bewildered as they were.

"…What is it?" he finally said, a tinge of suspicion evident in his voice.

"Oh, uh…" I frantically summoned something from memory. "Is the Host Club on this afternoon?"

I knew that he was watching every muscle on my face and willed myself to behave as normally as I could. My heart was thumping in my throat.

"You just want to ask me that?" he cocked an eyebrow.

"Uh, no!" I waved my hands in objection. "I wanted to suggest a new theme for the Host Club this week, that's all."

"You? Suggesting a theme?"

I gave an inward groan. _How uncharacteristic of me. I should have known he'd pick that up._

"Uh, yes. I thought it over during the holiday and believe that I should be more open to the workings of the Host Club, you see," I fibbed.

"I see," he suddenly smiled that highly sinister smile of his. (You know, the one that looks so pleasant you almost believe it to be true.) "So what suggestion do you have?"

"Uh…" I started, aware of the challenge. "You know, it's the new school year… I think we should have a publicity campaign, showcasing all the different looks of Music Room Three throughout the years. Just to show people how great the Host Club can be in every aspect – both in skills and setting."

_Good heavens, that was lame. But definitely a noble attempt at suicide._

"But you do know that we already have a lot of publicity to attract customers."

I hurriedly searched through the various drawers in my brain to call up an answer. "It's not for customers," I slowly enunciated, a light appearing in the dark, rattled depths of my head. "More of a _recruitment_ drive."

_That was pure genius, Fujioka._

Kyouya-senpai was genuinely surprised at my suggestion. I hammered on, more calm than before. "Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai have graduated, right?"

Kyouya-senpai nodded slowly.

"So it will make perfect sense to have more hosts, yes?"

I knew I had him when the traces of The Smile totally disappeared from his face and the business glow of his spectacles became the dominant feature on his expression.

"I will speak to Tamaki," he caved. I could practically see his mental cogs working over-time.

I started breathing normally again. "See you around, Kyouya-senpai."

Who would have thought that the recruitment drive would be _my_ brainchild? I gave an inward sigh. It's hard to admit, but I really do the craziest things just to protect my friends.

**x**

**08:27 – Class 2-B**

"Kaoru? You all right?" I caught his sullen expression and guessed that there had been an unforeseen circumstance that disturbed Kaoru immensely. The absence of Hikaru also signified bad news. If you put two and two together, you'd probably know what that means.

Kaoru looked at me straight in the eye and said blandly, "Hikaru's in 2-A. There was a last minute shuffle because of some transferees to the second-year from Hanakawa Institution and I was told this morning that this is my class instead of 2-A, as posted before school started."

"And you're upset because you aren't with Hikaru?" I put my bag down on the seat beside him.

He sighed in confirmation.

The real problem finally came to me. "Hikaru's throwing a huge tantrum, isn't he?"

Kaoru sighed again.

I couldn't help but sigh too.

"Who is the idiot in charge of the school administration?" Kaoru let out a small wail of despair, burying his head in his arms.

"Tamaki-senpai's dad," I answered wryly.

"Oh, yeah…" Kaoru groaned. Then he shot up from his seat. "Oh, yeah! I can talk to Tono and see if he can do anything!"

I chewed the inside of my lip, considering Kaoru's predicament. "Actually, don't you think a separation between you and Hikaru would give him a chance to grow up a little bit?"

Kaoru sat down again, his shoulders sloping downward. "I don't know… I thought about that, but it seems that Hikaru can't take it very well."

"That's what the problem is," I gently pointed out. "Hikaru can't adapt to life without you. He has to learn somehow. It's the best time for him to, Kaoru – it wouldn't do for him to only learn when both of you plunge into society and need to deal with your own businesses or families."

"I know, Haruhi, I know," Kaoru nodded sadly.

"I'll help you," I promised.

_Dear Mom,_

_I know it may seem to you that I am Santa Claus, dishing out favors to my friends like candy. But I know you'd understand. Besides, I don't have siblings, so it would be important for me to treasure friends. Right?_

**x**

**13:00 – Lunchtime**

The high school section of Ouran Private Academy is housed in the front part the school, closest to the main gates. Within the high school section, there are four wings, the North, South, East and West.

The East Wing hosts the first-year classes and is a smaller wing compared to the rest. You would find the recreational rooms like the gym and the indoor pool on the higher floors. The Olympic-sized pool is attached to said building as well.

The South Wing, which hosts the second-years, is replete with computer laboratories, science laboratories, exercise rooms for Phys Ed, libraries, reading rooms and music rooms. It also means that I do not have an excuse to be late for club meetings because I now share the same building with Music Room Three.

The third-years and the teaching staff are located in the West Wing. It also contains various simulation facilities like offices and factories for a more hands-on type of vocational training for third-year students that are to be prepared for their succession to the family business.

Lastly, the North Wing is the headquarters of the school administration. Besides that, it also hosts the campus' largest cafeteria (with the indoor fountain and all the enchilada), making the cafeterias of the other three wings pale in comparison.

**x**

"Let's have lunch at the North Wing today. It's Hikaru's favorite place to have lunch," Kaoru suggested, glancing at the bento that I was pulling out from under my table. I looked pointedly at him, knowing that he had seen my bento and was aware of my financial incapability to purchase a school lunch. (All because my father chose to spend precious money on 10 000 yen bra-and-panty sets, if I may add.)

"My treat," he practically pleaded. "You said you'd help me with pacifying Hikaru and helping him learn to be independent."

"I don't remember the pacifying part."

"Haruhiiiii…"

"But my bento will go to waste."

"For a good cause!"

I sighed, giving in. "Okay. But it's your treat."

Kaoru hugged me as waterfalls ran down his cheeks, and promised servitude for as long as he would live. I told him to stop his nonsense and get his things so we could get going to 2-A.

_These rich bastards,_ I could only shake my head as I shoved my bento into my bag.

**x**

"What about this?"

"Too boring."

"Um, this?"

"Too bland."

"Okay, try this."

"Too sour."

Hikaru was being difficult, sulky and annoying. I wanted to punch his head, but I resisted the temptation with my promise to Kaoru in mind. Hikaru wasn't someone who reacted very well to violence.

But sometimes, with Hikaru, you just _have_ to be firm.

"Hikaru, you eat this and don't complain about it," I commanded, pointing to the veal blanquette with ginger and lemongrass before shooting Kaoru a withering look for giving in to his twin so easily.

Hikaru looked away and said nothing.

"Could I have the pan-grilled rib steak with béarnaise sauce as well, please?" I asked the cooking staff politely, gesturing to the option that Hikaru had rendered 'too bland'. Kaoru meekly quipped that he wanted the onion soup gratinee. I placed the order for him and was asked to choose from the three desserts of the day, the floating island, the chocolate profiteroles or the warm almond cake with caramel cream.

"Uh…" I hesitated, trying to make sense of what a 'floating island' was.

Seeing my dilemma, the nice lady at behind the counter said I could also ask for a dessert of my choice, if I wanted. I instantly replied that I wanted _kakigori_ and was given a blank look.

I wasn't sure if the blank look that was offered meant that she knew that the dessert is more popular as a summer dessert and wasn't necessarily available (it was the beginning of spring) or she didn't know what _kakigori_ is because it's 'commoners' food'.

I sighed at the plethora of unknown Western options and replied that I would take all the three main desserts, each one for each order.

"Everything is so complicated in the world of the rich," I complained under my breath, taking my tray as the Hitachiin brothers took theirs.

"Oh, you got the floating island!" Kaoru exclaimed. "That's Hikaru's favorite from the North Wing."

"No it's not. It's too sweet," Hikaru scowled at his brother, then turned away.

"I'll have it then," I smiled at the rebellious twin. "What is it, anyway?"

"You see the white stuff? That's meringue. The rest is vanilla custard. They call it 'floating island' because it looks like islands of meringue floating in a sea of custard," Kaoru answered.

"Seems like something Honey-senpai would adore," I grinned at him.

Suddenly, Hikaru stomped off with his tray and set it on a nearby table noisily and without grace, astonishing some of the other female students nearby that were his loyal fans.

"What's _up_ with him?" I murmured.

Kaoru shrugged and cast his eyes down. "He's probably still affected by the fact that you and I are in the same class. He's not only bothered that he can't be in the same class with me, you know. With us discussing dessert like decade-old buddies while he sulks – well, let's just say it brings out the worst in him."

I acknowledged that conjecture and strode over to Hikaru.

"Hikaru," I put down my tray and sat down to level my eyes with his. He bent further down and continued eating like primal man. I reached over to his tray and took away the chocolate profiteroles and plonked down their replacement – my floating island. This caught his attention and he looked up at me.

"I thought you were going to eat that," he muttered, slightly embarrassed.

"It's your favorite," I answered as a matter-of-factly. A red tint started to creep across his cheeks.

Kaoru came over and sat beside his brother. "I'm sorry," he finally said. The other twin snapped his head over to his other half and said, "What for?"

"I don't really know," Kaoru admitted, "but I feel really bad being the one taken out of the class. I mean… It's like I'm _abandoning _you."

Hikaru's expression softened and he gripped his brother's hand.

"You know, it's not as if our classrooms are that far away. It wouldn't be the same as last year, with the two of you roping me into your mischief, but some things don't change. Things like being in the Host Club, or having the same phones," I felt my lips turn upwards.

"Yeah, it's not that bad," Kaoru caught on to the enthusiasm and gave his brother a soft smile. "We could always have lunch together, and finally pay proper attention to the teacher since we won't be there to distract each other."

"And finally get ahead of Haruhi in exams," Hikaru continued, starting to warm up to the idea.

"Yeah, that too," I laughed, shaking my head, not believing it.

"You think it's impossible?" Hikaru pretended to jeer.

"Don't look down on us," Kaoru mirrored his brother.

I gave them a knowing look. "Just to be safe, I'll just have to sit further away from Kaoru so he won't be able to monitor my academic progress and snitch on me."

I knew that this would delight Hikaru and provide a lot of relief for Kaoru, because it meant that Hikaru would have fewer chances to be sore about the contact between Kaoru and I.

Kaoru flashed me a 'you're-the-best' look and passed me his almond cake in gratitude. I accepted it graciously and dug in.

It was good, in more ways than one.

**x**

**15:19 – Host Club activity**

It was a given that I would be greeted with a certain blonde's affection along with the familiar vibes radiating off the lounge chairs and teapots. I adopted my standard position as Tamaki-senpai bounded towards me like a German Shepherd that hadn't seen sheep for months. Drawing my arms close to myself, I braced my body for the impact and it swiftly descended, arms and all.

"Haruhiiiii!" Tamaki-senpai cooed and swung me around in an embrace. "I haven't seen you for _ages_!"

I gave him a feeble smile and elbowed him a little harder than I intended to, an uncomfortable heat I struggled to suppress tingling somewhere in the cavities of my cheeks. "Now, Tamaki-senpai, it's only been a week…"

The Hitachiin brothers were intrigued with the new portable game console Tamaki-senpai had passed on to them to 'test drive' (it was a prototype that his classmate's father needed feedback on) and paid little attention to our president's unbecoming antics. I think a year of such behavior had numbed them, protective as they were of me. For some reason, Tamaki-senpai's touchy-feely nature bothered me more than ever that term. I even wanted to twins to help me disentangle myself from Tamaki-senpai, but for heaven's sake why?

"Okaa-san," Tamaki-senpai whimpered to Kyouya-senpai after I jabbed him in the ribs, "the daughter is misbehaving!"

"Sleep-talk only in your sleep, Tamaki," Kyouya-senpai coolly replied, scrutinizing the black book as if his life depended on it.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of nostalgia – everyone was still the same after the short spring break, but the absence of Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai altered the mood drastically. There was just something missing, an element that belonged to the two seniors. It probably could never be replaced.

"About the recruitment drive," Kyouya-senpai started, turning to Tamaki-senpai, who was drawing circles in his corner. "I think we need to discuss further about it, Tamaki. Along with Haruhi, of course."

"Haruhi?"

"She came up with the idea."

"She did?" Tamaki-senpai shot up to his feet, eyes sparkling at me. I blinked.

"You _do_ care about the Host Club as much as we do!" Tamaki-senpai lapsed into a state of euphoria, prancing towards me with his arms outstretched. I put up a palm and jammed him mid-hug, my fingers clasped loosely around his forehead.

"Let's talk about it after school," Kyouya-senpai suggested, his spectacles reflecting the afternoon sunlight. I almost couldn't catch the entrepreneurial gleam in his eye.

**x**

**19:18 – Fujioka residence**

"Secretary?" Hideyo raised his eyebrows, chopsticks in mid-air. I sighed and nodded as I pulled the soup bowl away from my lips.

"I'm the newly appointed secretary of the Host Club," I lamented. Thanks to Kyouya-senpai's brilliance, I was conferred the title in the first ten seconds of our after-school meeting. It wasn't a very exclusive meeting, seeing that the twins were also in the session, but our club, with its status at that moment, had only five people so it wasn't much of a crowd anyway.

"So you're saying you are the director of the Host Club's recruitment drive?" Hideyo-chan wrinkled his nose, trying to make head and tail of the issue.

"Yes. I have to front the drive, make sure everything runs smoothly."

"And Kyouya-senpai is the executive producer?"

"You could say that. The whole project will be controlled by him."

"And your president?"

"Uh… I think he'll just be there. To look pretty."

"I see. How efficient. And why do you need a recruitment drive again?"

"Well… The Host Club's client-pool has been significantly reduced, what with the third-years graduating and Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai off the scene. We've lost two anchors there," I pointed out.

Hideyo understood. "But the first-year girls, aren't they drawn to the club? Shouldn't they be flocking there by the dozen?"

"Well, apparently Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai were great assets because today we saw quite a few clients asking for the cute kind and the stoic manly kind, which we couldn't supply. So it ended up that the attendance rate dropped by ten per cent, compared to exactly a year ago. Normally the Host Club does very well during the first week of school; the girls are separated from the hosts for the whole holiday season and can't wait to get back to them, you see."

"So this Kyouya-senpai is desperate to get more customers?"

"Rather. He doesn't show it though."

"And your recruitment drive would be…?"

"I was planning to do it the traditional public school way, with posters and such," I replied, earning a look of pleased approval from the fellow public schooler I was talking to. "However, Kyouya-senpai thinks he's got a better idea."

"Which is?"

I chewed on my pickle and swallowed. "A competition, tied up with the press and a TV station. It will be a battle of looks, wit, social status, girl-charming skills and overall pleasantness. Tryouts start the day after tomorrow in the Third Music Room. Most likely the Host Club will be judging and we'll let the contestants compete in a real-life situation, which means they will have to do some serious hosting – in front of a live audience and on-location production crews."

Hideyo-chan shook his head in disbelief as he picked at the piece of chicken in his bowl. "Good grief. Your club's crazy."

"Tell me about it. TV ratings will possibly translate to a bonus for the Host Club's funds as well. No wonder Kyouya-senpai's so enthusiastic."

"I'm thankful that I'm signing up for the school orchestra," he shuddered. "Goodness knows how I'll get exploited if I were in the Host Club."

Alas, that wasn't up for Hideyo-chan to decide.


	6. Split Chopsticks

**Chapter note: **_Daifuku_ is a popular confection in Japan. Even the rich people would probably have heard of it because of its status as a tea ceremony _wagashi_ (sweet). However, they are probably not familiar with _ichigo daifuku_, which is a recently invented variation on traditional _daifuku_. Traditional _daifuku_ contains a sweetened red bean paste (_azuki_) in a round rice cake called _mochi_. One of the new variations is an _ichigo_ (strawberry) wrapped up in _mochi_ instead of red bean paste. There are many other variations like peach filling or sesame paste filling. I didn't make the twins question Haruhi about _ichigo daifuku_ because I want Tamaki to do it. I presume this sweet will play a big part in _Bigger Steps: Something Like That_.

_Aogeba Toutoshi _and _Hotaru no Hikari _are the 'official' graduating songs in Japan. The graduates would sing either. The former was also performed in the Azumanga Daioh graduation ceremony episode, in case any of you would like to have an idea of how it sounds. In some of Japan's junior highs, first-years and second-years attend the graduation ceremony as well. They get to thank the third-years for their friendship, guidance etc. Of course, it's up to the school whether they want the freshmen and sophomores to be there or not.

Girls refer to themselves typically as _atashi_ in speech; however in Ouran you would notice that most of the time they will use _watakushi_, which is an extra-polite form of 'I'. Hence Hideyo's comment was made.

**6: Split Chopsticks**

**07:45 – In the bus, third day of the school year**

I sighed. I had never been so stressed before. I could always handle stress. I am Fujioka Haruhi.

But that day, it seemed like an enormous challenge to be me.

"What's wrong?" Hideyo turned to look at me, tearing his eyes away from the window. I looked up at him pointedly, deadpanned.

"Oh," he remembered. "Relax, Senpai. It's not that bad. All you have to do is to facilitate the production."

"That's easy for you to say, Hideyo-chan."

"Honestly, don't worry about it," Hideyo-chan insisted. "Tell you what – to ease your tension, I'll have lunch with you this afternoon. How about that? You know what I made for my bento this morning?" he sang, trying to pacify me with the lobster he had splurged on the night before. I ate my share last night – I couldn't help myself – and Dad was so happy that he decided to cut a discount on the month's rent.

A wave of gratitude washed over me and I sunk my forehead onto his shoulder. "I know this doesn't look very manly (for both of us, in fact) and I don't mean to insult your manhood, but to me you'll always be like a sister. Thank you so, so much."

"Aw, Senpai."

Then I sat up and realized that if I ate with him our lunch partners would be alone.

"If you eat with me, who's Touhi going to eat with?"

**x**

Hideyo-chan and Touhi had been getting on very well, despite the fact that Hideyo still looked very much like a girl and Touhi allegedly had problems with that half of the human species. Even weirder, Touhi was stutter-free around him. I had already broken the news to Hideyo about the massive crush that Touhi had on 'Tomoyo-chan', but said party brushed it off and said that it would probably wear off like all the other guys' who confessed to liking 'Tomoyo' back in junior high. He even said that Touhi wasn't the kind of guy who would put girls as his number one priority, or anything remotely near. I decided that it was Hideyo's affair, so I refrained from meddling around further.

**x**

"Oh, Touhi can manage on his own," Hideyo-chan dismissed. "He's got jock friends to hang out with. How about yours?"

"They'll be fine. They have each other," I couldn't help but grin at that.

"Well, if they happen to loathe the idea of separation they could always join us," Hideyo-chan offered.

"No, they can't know who you are," I pointed out. "They'll start probing and you know I can't lie very well."

"Ah, but you can tell them that I'm actually Tomoyo-chan the scholarship student and I'm pretending to be a boy just like you. It's not as if they don't know Tomoyo exists – thanks to Touhi," Hideyo dropped his voice a few decibels and grinned.

I chewed the inside of my cheek. "Wouldn't that be very confusing?"

"Let them know that I'm a guy then," Hideyo shrugged.

"No!"

Firstly, they'd have a fit that I know other boys besides them. Then, they'd tell Tamaki-senpai to agonize him while informing him. Thirdly, Tamaki-senpai would have a fit and blurt everything to Kyouya-senpai, his 'wife'. Next, Kyouya-senpai would have a field day snapping secret photos of Hideyo and me together and selling it to girls who loved to see boys in romantic situations with boys. Lastly, I'd get a massive migraine and permanent eye twitch.

"Oh, relax, I'm kidding," he chortled.

"It's not a very funny joke," I crossed my arms.

"Okay, how about this – you tell them that I'm a girl, but I make them promise not to tell anyone that I'm actually Tomoyo-chan. This way, only a minimal amount of people will find out."

"And how would you do that, may I ask?"

He smirked. "I have a lot of information about you that I presume they'd be interested in."

I stared hard at Hideyo. "How much have I underestimated you, really?"

He just let out a loud laugh and I could only sigh.

_These rich bastards._

**x**

**08:07 – Class 2-A**

"I can't make it for lunch with you guys this afternoon," I strolled into the class next door the moment I reached the South Wing. "I've having lunch with a friend."

"Whom?" they immediately asked.

I exhaled heavily. "A _friend_."

"Is it a girl or a boy?"

I hesitated. "A… girl," I bit my lip.

They heaved a sigh before raising an eyebrow – all done in perfect synchronization and symmetry.

"A girl eh? I wonder how many girls you know in this school whom you would have lunch with," Hikaru teased, winking at me. The comment was supplemented by Kaoru, who gave me a cunning grin.

"Haruhi, I didn't know you bent that way," Kaoru shifted his eyebrows up at me in mock accusation, complete with wagging finger.

My own eyebrow twitched.

"I take it from your tone that you two want to have lunch with us then," I gave them an 'I'm-mentally-exhausted-and-your-low-IQ-is-affecting-my-intelligence' look. "She and I will be having lunch in the classroom. Just so you know."

_Out of a pool of rich bastards, never mess with twins_, I made a mental note to pass on to my grandchildren.

As an afterthought I added, _So that your irritation is reduced by half._

**x**

I was greeted by Kyouya-senpai on my way out of 2-A.

"Haruhi," he started, handing me a tablet PC and an earpiece connected to a walkie-talkie, "these are your utility equipment. The production crew will be coming down straight after lunch, so I suggest you get yourself prepared. Details of the drive are in the PC, so have a look before you meet them. You get half the day's classes off, and it will be as such for the next week."

My jaw hit the ground. No way was I missing classes for Who Wants to be a Host Since You're Already a Millionaire or something along those lines.

Kyouya-senpai noticed the look and ceremoniously pushed up his glasses with his third finger while securing the frame with his thumb and finger. "I'm sure you don't want to jeopardize your grades, Haruhi, but you _do_ know how much will be incurred if you don't do your job as the secretary of the Host Club, don't you?"

That was an outright threat.

"Oh, okay," I mumbled, taking the PC and walkie-talkie begrudgingly.

"Don't drop those," Kyouya-senpai smiled as he strolled away. It made me instantly nervous as I read the lines on that; one could only guess how much the little accursed minions of technology cost.

_These rich bastards!_

**x**

**12:54 – Lunch**

I gaped as Kaoru snapped his cellphone shut and finished customizing his three-course Tibetan menu from some fancy high-end street café. And Hikaru was still insisting on his own cell that he did not want béarnaise sauce on his salmon fillet, and that the order had better be worth the (obscene) cost or else he'd never patronize the restaurant again.

The only things I'd ever ordered and was sent to me for oral consumption were pizza, ramen and sushi, and even that was only eaten on birthdays, New Year's Eve and Dad's whims (on Hideyo-chan's expense, more recently).

"What's your dessert?" I asked Hideyo as I tucked in, deciding to draw my attention to my food. I saw the piece of lobster on my rice and beamed at him. "Thank you!"

Hideyo prepares his bento early in the morning while I do it the night before (I heat it up in the morning), so usually I don't get to see what he brings, what with the morning rush to the bathroom and struggling myself into the school uniform.

"You're welcome. And the dessert is d_aifuku_," he replied. "Sesame paste filling. Which is too sweet for you, so don't think of snatching it."

I grinned deviously and pulled out a box from under my table. "It's all right. I have _ichigo daifuku_, which is obviously tons better than your sesame paste."

Hideyo-chan was outraged. "You told me there was none left!"

"There _was_ none left," I affirmed. "I took the last one."

The twins suddenly zoomed up beside us and said in unison, "Do you guys live near each other? How come you get to fight over dessert?"

I was caught off guard, and so was Hideyo. Obviously, the twins could not find out that Hideyo the Boy was living with me – 'we share the same fridge' was on the tip of my tongue. I _could_ continue fibbing about Tomoyo the Girl though – in fact, I had no choice but to.

"_Of course_ we live near each other," I indignantly replied, carefully avoiding mentioning the dessert. "Public junior highs are distributed evenly across neighborhoods, so when you are in the same junior high it means you're probably all living within one kilometer of the school."

That was true, to a certain extent.

"Y-Yes, that's true. We met in the supermarket and Senpai told me that there was no _ichigo daifuku_ left," Hideyo nodded to the brothers, his eyes innocently wide. Finally they let us off.

"Tomoyo-chan, do tell us more about yourself," Kaoru and Hikaru gave Hideyo an ear-to-ear grin, guising their interrogation.

Hideyo split his chopsticks and gave them his legendary Tomoyo-smile that could 'throw any boy off their feet' (according to the boys in my junior high). It had little effect on the twins, who probably had already experienced such a smile from the numerous admirers they had rejected. They were already _anaesthetized_.

"What do you want to know?"

"Well, let's start with 'how long have you known Haruhi'!" the Hitachiin brothers chorused, a gleam in their eye. Hideyo pouted in thought. "Let's see… I've known her for about three years."

"What is her favorite food?" the twins rubbed their hands in delight. I sighed. What was this, a game show?

Hideyo looked at me. "Can I answer?"

I stared at the twins and they gave me a little dance right then and there in the classroom. "Go ahead," I relented in exasperation, knowing that I had no choice. If the Hitachiins weren't fed with juicy bits of my junior high life, things would get messy for Hideyo.

"She likes seafood, from sashimi to urchins to lobsters to spicy stingray. But her favorite would be shellfish – crabs, lobsters, oysters, you get the picture. I think out of all the shellfish, you eat prawns the most, right? But your favorite should be buttered lobster or buttered crab, right Senpai? You don't usually eat strong-tasting foods."

I couldn't help but clench my teeth at the look on the twins' faces. They were obviously enjoying the extra pieces of meat.

I wondered if they'd be so enthralled if Hideyo-chan revealed his gender.

"What her favorite color? Her favorite subject? Her favorite piece of music?" the Hitachiin brothers tried to remain calm as they stifled a scream of excitement. (Okay, probably they weren't really going to scream, but they looked as if they were bursting with joy at their newfound treasure trove.)

But before I could express my displeasure at the data overflow, he was already answering them.

"She doesn't have a favorite color because making her material life colorful isn't a priority in her life. The closest to a favorite color would be black or white, because it's something she doesn't need to think about. She has two favorite subjects – classical Japanese and English – but she is better at the former. You can tell from her speech, honestly," he paused to smile at me and I gave him a scowl. He didn't need to say so much.

"Our old club members were always teasing her about her use of the polite form in her language, because most of us use colloquial Japanese peppered with portmanteaus and abbreviations. But I can see that she can fit in rather well here in Ouran – I've never yet heard a girl refer to herself as '_atashi'_ yet!" Hideyo grinned. The twins cocked their heads at the true-blue 'commoner comment'.

"Oh, and she doesn't have a favorite piece of music. For obvious reasons – have you heard her sing?" Hideyo couldn't help but start to giggle.

"Wait a minute, when did I sing in front of you?" I cried incredulously, realizing that the twins were being exposed to more than what I liked them to be.

"Graduation ceremony, I was sitting across the aisle from you," my incriminating junior gasped between peals of laughter. "_Aogeba Toutoshi_!" he reminded breathlessly.

I grudgingly admitted to singing that because nobody misses out on the _graduation _song, but honestly I thought it wasn't that bad.

"Oh, and have you guys seen her at phys ed trying to jump over the vaulting horse? It's positively _hilarious_!" Hideyo guffawed even louder, drawing a big show of teeth and satisfied curled lips onto the twins' faces.

"_Tomoyo_-chan…" I pulled my last vowel in warning. He promptly stopped and sheepishly bit his lip, apologizing for being carried away.

Hitachiin One and Hitachiin Two pulled me aside. "Okay Haruhi, we've decided," they pronounced. "She's perfect for you!"

"For _you_, I believe," I responded sarcastically as Hideyo blinked in puzzlement behind us.

"Oh, don't say that," they leant back, reposed. I knew what they were thinking.

"Don't you dare bully her into spitting out information about me," I glowered, knowing that the twins could be as manipulative as Kyouya-senpai when they were in the mood.

"Oh, we won't," they chorused.

_Right. Like I believe you two. _

**x**

**13:01 – Meeting the TV crew**

Hideyo had left fifteen minutes earlier to rush back to his class for the next lesson, so I decided to spend some time preparing for the upcoming event.

I finished reading the details and put the slim computer in standby mode. "I need to go meet the production unit." I got up from my seat and carefully took up the tablet PC and walkie-talkie, putting the smaller gadget into my pocket and clipping the mouthpiece to the front of my blazer before fitting the receiver inside my ear.

"It's today, eh?" Hikaru asked rhetorically.

Kaoru smiled. "Good luck!" he called out, flashing a thumb at me.

"Thanks you guys. I really need it," I let out another petulant sigh, switching on the walkie-talkie and immediately hearing Kyouya-senpai's voice in my ear.

"Yes, yes, I'm coming," I spoke into the mouthpiece irritably.

I gave them the most authentic smile I could muster and returned the thumbs up before rushing down the hallway towards the stairs – to Music Room Three.

**x**

"This is Morimoto Kazuya, Hayashi Mari, Iwaya Makoto, Hisanagi Nobuo and Nonohara Shizuko," Kyouya-senpai introduced.

I nodded at them politely and told them, "I'm Fujioka Haruhi. Please to meet you, and do guide me along."

I was _not_ a people person, and felt rather out of place with all these… adults.

"Hey kid, loosen up," the svelte woman in a cream suit showed her amusement in her laughter. Nonohara Shizuko – the executive producer responsible for the tie-in. I gave her a feeble smile.

_If there's anything more pompous than rich people, it would probably be rich people in the media._

"Iwaya and I man the equipment," the guy called Morimoto Kazuya drawled lazily. He sported bits of stubble and was gesturing half-heartedly to the only other man in his team, who barely acknowledged my existence and was busy dragging on his cigarette. I nodded again. I already knew that, it was in the PC. But I didn't say anything.

"Mari is the floor manager," Kyouya-senpai gestured, knowing that she wasn't in the profiles. She gave me a shy smile and dipped her head.

I liked her instantly.

"I'm the director," Hisanagi Nobuo shifted uncomfortably on his feet and nodded to me curtly. He never said anything else to me after that.

"Where's Tamaki-senpai?" I voiced, taking myself away from the depression these people were radiating off their bodies.

"He's joining us after school," Kyouya-senpai said airily. When other people say things airily, it probably means that the issue is really not meant to be taken to heart. When Kyouya-senpai says things airily, he's making it clear that he doesn't want to say any more. I was curious; there was nothing about Tamaki-senpai that needed to be secret.

_At least, not on the surface._

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he had been really quiet around me yesterday…

"Sorry I'm late!" an unmistakable voice floated over the noise of a high-powered motor, snapping me out of my reverie.

"She's our host," Kyouya-senpai smiled serenely.

"Renge-chan's our host?" I muttered to myself. I expected a professional.

You see, the idea was this – in the first episode, which was to be filmed today, would feature a host running around the school to pick out ten lucky guys, who would then be filmed in a game show style and answer various questions according to different categories that already have been developed by the production unit. The show was to be a filler for one of the prime-time reality shows imported from the USA.

Sky Network, where all these people came from, was still in the middle of negotiating the rest of the episodes from the station in the States. The negotiation was limited to three weeks, not longer – they'd run out of budget otherwise and would rather drop the whole show than to drag things on, but they had confidence of clinching the deal – and hence they couldn't insert just any old show. They needed a new one that would span exactly three episodes and would be a cinch to film.

It was an unforeseen problem for them, because their new boss wasn't very good with handling the media industry and had forgotten to secure the rights. This boss happened to be a friend of Kyouya-senpai's father, and Kyouya-senpai jumped at the chance when he heard that the company needed a new show idea desperately and the producers had no idea what to do.

Honestly, I had no idea as well. No idea why I was in this production at all.

**x**

"She's a natural," I muttered to Kyouya-senpai as we followed Renge on her prowl for unsuspecting victims. The otaku turned, shushed the camera, and tiptoed towards this third-year guy I only recognized as Third-Year Guy.

She chatted, laughed, flipped her hair, probed and our first contestant was drawn.

Rules of the game – Renge will choose her stooges carefully according to their looks, general reputation around the school, grades or X-factor. She can choose to prey on the contestant directly or obtain referrals. The exploited-to-be can choose to reject the offer, but they need to perform a forfeit, drawing a forfeit lot from a box. If they cannot perform the forfeit, they have no choice but to participate. According to Kyouya-senpai, the forfeits have been arranged in a way that everyone can perform them, so no one will be upset.

The director shimmied to the end of the hallway, frowned, and then said something to the cameraman through the mouthpiece that we all heard but I didn't understand – it was industrial jargon. The camera swiveled around Renge. It made sense to use the mouthpiece – if Hisanagi went closer to the cameraman his instructions would've been recorded into the footage. Another set of instructions, all given in the same monotone, filled our ears and the enormous microphone that Iwaya was handling was adjusted nearer to Renge.

I have to admit, I was quite fascinated. The media industry behind the scenes was always more delicious than what was fronting the glass.

"What's the skinny?" Nonohara Shizuko came up to Kyouya-senpai, the Human Database of Ouran. We were all standing a distance away.

"Hirakawa Masayuki. Marital status – engaged. Second Year, Group C. Background – good, successor to Matsunaga Electronics. Grades – average. Net worth, 3.1 billion," Kyouya-senpai rattled off to the producer, who whistled in response.

"Boy, if all of you weren't minors…" she stared hungrily at Kyouya-senpai and I and put out her anorexic finger to trace Kyouya-senpai's jaw line. He politely moved away.

I shivered.

Yep, that confirmed it.

What kind of crap had I gotten myself into?

**x**

"Your names, please," Renge cordially demanded from two giddy second-years that were mooning around one of the libraries. I identified them to be from last year's 1-D.

"Aidamachi Natsumi!"

"Honookawa Ikuko!"

"Who do you want to see in the Host Club?" our liaison mock-swooned to influence them further. Together, the two girls screamed, "Midoribana Touhi! He's so manly! And what a sportsman! He's so tall!"

I paused to think. Touhi _was _a giant – that justified the tall part. He _was _a superb athlete – apparently he caused quite a stir on his first day in Ouran Academy since his sports fame had spread far and wide – that made up the sportsman, didn't it? And for being manly… He _was _rather gentle and slightly dense, I guess that was a testament. Plus he _was _good-looking – you couldn't deny his chiseled jaw line and out-of-bed look typical of a jock. In fact he kind of reminded me of Mori-senpai. But most importantly, he had hair just a few shades lighter than mine and anyone with such a default hair color can't go very wrong.

Renge winked at the camera. "Midoribana-kun, we're coming to get you! But wait! Oh," she pouted, "we have to break for a commercial–!" Of course, there wouldn't be a commercial break at that very moment because it wasn't a live show, but when it was aired there would be.

_Midoribana Touhi?_ I raised an eyebrow, skeptical.

**x**

"What's your name, handsome?" Renge cooed, venturing into the First Reading Room. Her subject immediately turned to run away, but was pulled back by her wiry, strong hands.

I gawked. _Touhi_ was being shortlisted. The shock still hadn't settled in.

"He won't make it," I sentenced him to death row.

"Perhaps he'll be the underdog," Kyouya-senpai adjusted his specs.

"Look at him stutter."

"It's an improvement from the last time."

That was true. He was more composed and his consonants were less drawn out.

"I-I'm Midorib-bana T-Touhi," he swallowed, not daring to look at Renge and fixating his eyes onto the floor. Mari motioned for Renge to talk more.

"Would you like to join the Host Club?"

Touhi's eyes widened. "D-Do I h-have to?"

Renge put her finger against her lip. "Hmm… Well, you could draw a lot from this box, and if you're able to perform the forfeit we'll let you off!"

The first-year bravely plunged his hand into the box. He withdrew his hand, a piece of red paper clasped in his hand.

"Right then!" Renge grabbed the lot and read aloud, "This is a 'Skills' task. You have to perform a hosting skill – it should be easy-peasy, right? People only get shortlisted because other people think they're up to being a host."

I could see Touhi's Adam's apple bob wildly as he gulped.

"'Tell a girl, any girl here, that she is the most beautiful, mesmerizing creature you have ever set your eyes on and give her a peck on the back of her hand.' Shouldn't be a daunting task!"

Touhi blanched. "I think I'll participate instead," he whispered. Renge cheered and danced a little bit before Mari had to gesture wildly to get Renge to look into the eye of the camera and finish up with Touhi's selection.

Kyouya-senpai couldn't help but chuckle. "He thinks he'll not qualify for the rest of the competition."

I stared. "You mean he will?"

The spectacles turned reflective.

**x**

We had finally moved on to the last location – the East Wing. We've had the boys' classes and cellphone numbers taken down and they would meet us at 4 PM for the game show that will be held in the Third Music Room.

"And we're here in the East Wing!" Renge-chan chirped, flinging out her hands. "WHO WILL BE THE NEXT LUCKY GUY!"

Mari, under the executive producer's instructions and Director Hisanagi's go ahead, signaled for Renge to cut to yet another commercial break. Renge said her lines and was promptly cued to pick it up from there, as if the commercial had already been over.

I was, admittedly, bored. The novelty of watching TV production had worn off and it was already 3:30 PM. I was tired of roaming the school grounds and just wanted to go back to class and sponge up on World History.

Renge's expertise and constant contact with the Host Club made it possible to select the kind of guys we needed, and pick the correct people who would refer us to the guys we needed. I finally understood why Kyouya-senpai had rendered her services. Then I wondered what she was getting in exchange for it.

"Renge's going to be the official external liaison for the Host Club – that's why she agreed to be our host for the show," Kyouya-senpai's words plummeted into my thoughts, and once again I wondered if he was a cyborg because he answered a question that I had not even breathed out yet.

"External liaison? I thought that's your job?"

He gave me a sardonic smile. "No, I am doing _internal_ liaison. Renge will co-ordinate outdoor activities, which I am trying to actively promote this year but don't have the time. And you, as secretary, must be ready to schedule everything that falls into your hands – any failed meeting would mean…" he trailed off, letting me savor the meaning of his words.

"How many?" I murmured.

"30 per half hour," he smirked.

I tried to contain myself. 60 delegations for every hour lost. Fine, I could deal with that. I just had to make sure we ran on schedule. No problem.

"It's already a discount – I won't count part thereof," he added.

I wanted to hit him.

**x**

Our external liaison decided to try the audience approach again. As we entered into the massive drawing room (the one and only in the East Wing) she quickly spotted her targets and draped her arms around the settee where a few girls were doing some embroidery.

"Hey there," she grinned. "Now, tell me honestly – who do you think should be in the Host Club?"

The girls exchanged furtive glances and started to grow red and giggle. They pushed each other around a bit and jostled on the couch, fiddling with their hair and whispering amongst themselves.

First-years. Most definitely.

It's one of those rare moments in my life where I'm actually proud to be a host – I can actually tell what grade girls are in just by the way they giggle.

(However I'm not sure that will take me very far up the path to becoming a lawyer.)

"Tell them we haven't got all day!" the cantankerous Nonohara Shizuko screeched into our ears from far off, where she was watching like a hawk.

"Come on, girls, we need to get our man!" Renge beamed as Mari pitifully signaled for her to speed up.

Finally they picked the girl with mousey-brown hair to announce their verdict. She looked down at the floor and shyly said, "Hakozawa Hideyo."

**x**

**16:02 – On air, Host Club not in session**

The participants assumed their podiums and tested their buzzers while the crew bustled around Music Room Three. Our 80-strong live audience started drifting in, the majority of them girls. Mari was instructing the live audience on how to vote for the contestants. I could only stare at the commotion. Somehow, Hideyo being in the competition was a major thing to me.

He would be exposed to the media.

He would be portrayed as a boy to the rest of the world outside Ouran Academy and my home.

He would be risking the chance of all the staff at Ouran not finding the name 'Hakozawa Hideyo' on the admission list.

I needed to breathe.

**x**

'_Hakozawa Hideyo'._

_He was _that_ popular already? So much for being a loner just a few months back._

"_Oh? Who is that?" Renge honestly had no clue. The first-years giggled for the thirtieth time and explained, "He's the one with the silky long hair and beautiful blue eyes. You must have seen him around! He's very understanding, very gentlemanly and is very pretty! Please let him in the Host Club!"_

_I should've let Dad snip off Hideyo's hair. Giving myself a mental slap, I wondered why I had forgotten girls in this school were very taken to males looking like females. _

_Soon enough, Renge found Hideyo exiting his classroom. He was approached with the ritual how-do-you-do and naturally opted to put his hand in The Box._

_Kyouya-senpai's assurance that everyone would be able to perform the forfeits thudded in rhythm with my heartbeat as Renge read out the task._

"_This is a 'Support' forfeit. 'Purchase five hundred white roses for the Host Club.' This shouldn't be tough! Can I get a rose too?"_

"_Uh, how much do they cost?"_

"_Oh, it's not expensive. In total," Renge was passed a notepad that had an official receipt and a line for the bearer to sign, "it's a little over 300 000 yen."_

_That was it. Hideyo was done for. I knew, for a fact, that out of the whole school population, the only people that didn't have a supplementary card were Hideyo and I. He did have a good-sized figure in his bank account, but the receipts like that don't wait for cash._

"_Can I pay you in cash at 5 PM?"_

"_No, you may not. This isn't a ransom, Hakozawa-kun," Renge joked._

_It sure felt like one. _

**x**

I sat down heavily, not even confirming if there was a chair beneath me or not.

"Haruhi," I heard Tamaki-senpai squeak into my right ear. "My–"

I scrambled off him and felt a flame ignite my cheeks. Of all things to sit on…! _Crap_, I winced. "Sorry…" I turned into stone – I was _much_ too embarrassed to react otherwise – while Tamaki-senpai doubled over, taking in short and rapid breaths.

"What's wrong?" Mari noticed Tamaki-senpai's discomfort and rushed over. I knew I was turning a bright red. I faced her and admitted, "I sat on him. Sideways."

Her gaze shuttled between me and Tamaki-senpai for about a second and she whispered incredulously, "On his _doo-dah_?"

My face crumpled as I nodded guiltily.

She tried hard not to laugh (not unkindly) and told me, "Well, the only thing to do is wait. It'll throb away soon enough."

"But he's co-hosting the segment!"

"Don't worry," she smiled shyly once again. "Shizuko and the director are arguing over the filming dates – we still have about fifteen minutes. Besides, he's not the only host. There's always Renge-chan."

I looked at Tamaki-senpai nervously. It was the first time I'd ever hurt a guy physically to render him immobile. It was supposed to feel great, according to some feminists who were black belts in karate. But looking at how I'm not a feminist (not much, I think) and how remotely unfamiliar I am with martial arts, this really wasn't my day.

"Are you his girlfriend? You look so worried," Mari gave me a look of concern.

"_No_," I was horrified. "He's my club president. I just feel really bad."

She apologized sheepishly, "Sorry. But I just thought a pretty maiden like you and a dashing guy like him –"

"Mari-san, what are you talking–_Hey_, how did you–"

She laughed softly, took off her cap and pointed my line of vision to the well-worn badge that was on it.

_St. Lobelia Zuka Club 1999._

**x**

**Author's Note: **I thought that it will be a nice twist for Haruhi to actually genuinely like someone from the Zuka Club, and that's why I included Mari in. She does seem like an unlikely candidate for Zuka Club, don't you think? But she won't be a big character, just someone vital to the chapter because in production, the floor manager is a Very Important Person.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted to make the next chapter the last for this installment of the fic, but I presume that will be impossible because I need to cover the game show. Probably I will extend this story for two more chapters before we move on to _Bigger Steps: Ootoro_, which Kyouya will be narrating in the first-person. I don't know how well I am going to pull that off, but I'll try :)

Do stay tuned, and thank you all for the support. Special thanks to the people who have added me on their favourites and alerts list, you know who you are!


	7. Maybe You're the One

**7: Maybe You're the One**

**16:15 – The Third Music Room, Host Club not in session**

"Tomoyo-chan is in the competition?" the twins almost popped their eyes out when they saw Hideyo behind the podium.

I nodded, my mouth in a line.

"But won't they find out…?" Hikaru frowned.

"It may be just as well that she comes into the Host Club," Kaoru pondered aloud. "This way we could look after her – just like you, Haruhi."

My eyebrows drew together. _It's not as easy as it seems, Kaoru._

**x**

"And five!" Mari called, before putting up her hand and signaling four, three, two, one, cue hosts on Camera One.

The lilt of chamber music infiltrated the air and Tamaki-senpai started to introduce the program (it was aptly titled 'Host Call'). I stood with the brothers and Kyouya-senpai by the lights, watching the show unfold.

The twins were muttering between themselves about how some of the contestants could _not _meet up to the Host Club's standards. Kyouya-senpai was thumbing his folder.

"This is weird," he murmured. I turned to him.

"What is?" I implored.

"I can't find Hakozawa Hideyo in my file," he answered, before looking at me in the eye, making my heart catch in my chest and beads of perspiration prickle my hairline.

"Oh, really? Um, maybe he came in late," I weakly replied, looking down at the floor.

"But I do have a picture of a _girl_ – it happens to be the scholarship student. Oh look, she went to the same junior high as you did."

"Haruhi, let's sit there!" Kaoru brightly tugged on my arm – in good time.

Hikaru winked, "Yeah, the lights are too bright here!"

They then pulled me away from Kyouya-senpai, arms protectively around my shoulders.

"Thanks," I whispered to them, and they grinned.

There was a mixture of emotions rising within me. Guilt, mainly due to the fact that Hideyo wasn't what the twins thought him to be but they were still protecting him because he was _my_ friend. Warmth, since the twins were willing to think about others outside their circle. Fear for the truth to be known to anyone, which also included Kyouya-senpai.

**x**

"The rules of the game, Renge-kun!" Tamaki-senpai announced importantly with a sweeping motion of his hand.

Renge winked and lifted her pointer. "We ask all of you a question, and the audience will rate your answers by pressing on a button. The participants with the five highest scores will be in the semi-finals. The participants that have not been selected will leave with consolation prizes from our lovely sponsor Daizo – Everyone's 100 yen shop."

There was a horrified silence.

"Did Renge say anything wrong, Hikaru?"

He looked pointedly at me. "Do you think any one of these people would want to be caught with an item from a budget shop in their possession?"

I scanned all of their faces. With the exception of Hideyo, I believed that the other participants would probably burn their consolation prize when they got home.

The contestants complied with Renge's terms. 90 per cent of them had a look of pure determination etched onto their handsome features, probably motivated by the fact that there were consolation prizes from hell.

"Now, the first question is for Kanegami Haruto – what is the most romantic thing you have ever done for a lady, and why do you think it's romantic?"

The sandy-haired first-year sank into a short reverie before answering, "I gave my fiancée a ruby from Myanmar for her 16th birthday. I think it was romantic because it took a month to find the perfect one, and I had to go through about 70 stones before I chose the gem."

Tamaki-senpai smiled dreamily. "What a lovely thing to do! I wish I had a fiancée," he batted his eyelashes at the air. Mari signaled for Renge to speak, because Tamaki-senpai was clearly not paying attention to her.

"Is that all, Kanegami-kun?" Renge pouted and raised her eyebrows, her eyes wide.

The boy nodded.

"Now," Tamaki-senpai finally caught on, "my lovely audience, do place your votes!"

There was a trill as a large panel with boxes numbered 1 to 20 lit up beside Tamaki-senpai and Renge-chan. Box 1 became pink and the lights went on all the way to Box 15 – and stayed there.

"Kanegami-kun has earned 15 points!" cried the hosts as the audience clapped wildly and cheered. I suspected it was a mere formality because some of the girls had gasped when he mentioned the word 'fiancée'.

They then moved on to Touhi. I looked at the twins, and they were obviously as skeptical as I was. Kyouya-senpai, however, was maintaining his usual façade of coolness, except this time he was suspiciously fingering his folder more actively than usual.

_Could it be that he rigged this question so Touhi would get in…?_

_Nah_, I thought. _Kyouya-senpai wouldn't do that. What for? There's nothing in it for him._

"This is for Midoribana Touhi," Tamaki-senpai started, nodding and smiling to the fumbling first-year. "Being a host is like making a girl feel special, as if she is your first love. Describe your first love and how you feel about her."

I stole a look at Kyouya-senpai. Yes, he was sliding his index finger across the length of his folder. This was highly unusual and not very calm of him. Very fishy.

"Um," Touhi chewed on his lower lip before staring straight at Tamaki-senpai. "I've never spoken to her, but she has spoken to me. From a distance." He took a deep breath as the audience fell quiet – it seemed as if he was a different person.

"Her music is what spoke to me. It is something that touches your heart – it sometimes even pierces it to the core. My first love would actually be her music, because I got to know it before her. Naturally it led me to her. She is a storyteller with her violin. She can express volumes without words, and she gets to communicate with your inner being before even scratching your surface. I cannot even fathom how I feel about her but I stand in admiration of her. She is someone that I would want to understand deeply for it is impossible for her not to have a beautiful soul, with such a gift."

Some girls had tears in their eyes. Apparently Touhi had scored some points on the sensitivity board. I glanced at Hideyo, who was rather pale – Touhi's deep declaration of how he felt towards 'Tomoyo' was probably too much for my darling junior to handle.

"Let's see how much Midoribana-kun deserves for that answer!"

The audience punched their buttons and the lights on the panel shot up to a 19.

My gaze shot to Kyouya-senpai and there he was, perfectly calm – just clutching his folder serenely, his fingers at their usual stationary bend.

Midoribana Touhi, indeed.

**x**

It was the moment I was waiting for. And perhaps the twins were too.

"The question for Hakozawa-kun is – what do you intend to achieve as a host?"

Questions like these sounded easy, but to be able to score well for them was not. I was hoping that Hideyo would give a lousy answer so he could escape from the Host Club, but knowing him, it was hard for him not to try his best even though it was merely a game.

There was a pregnant pause before he answered.

"I've never intended to become a host. I say this because I've never been a very outgoing person.

"But if I were a host, I would want to achieve a real sense of responsibility for my delegates. I don't only want them to feel entertained by me – I would like them to be able to laugh with me and cry with me, talk to me and be comforted by me. I want to be really there for them, not as an object of admiration but as a true friend. That's what I would want to achieve as a host. I would like our relationship to supersede that of a client and host – I would like to be as close as a… sibling, I guess, to my delegates."

And he looked straight at me, and smiled.

**x**

**_15:21 – Three years ago in July_**

"_Tomoyo-chan! I've been looking for you everywhere!" I called, running to the second-year who was digging something in the dilapidated back garden. I had never said anything more than a greeting to this girl so I didn't know her well, and I silently wondered why she was doing weird things like heaving soil._

"_Yes, Senpai?" She brushed the perspiration from her brow and drew herself to full height. Her fingernails were caked with dirt and a shovel was in her right hand. I realized that she wasn't digging, but she was filling up a hole in the earth._

"_Hayashi-sensei said you left this at her desk," I thrust the exercise book at her and pushed back my long hair. "She wanted me to pass it to you because she knew we'd be having Study Supervisors at three, but since you didn't turn up I thought I'd look for you."_

"_Oh!" Her eyes widened in recognition at the book and she looked apologetically at me. "Sorry I didn't turn up for club activity. I was busy with this and lost track of the time. Thanks for bringing my book though! I need to wash my hands before I can keep my homework, but I'm not done yet… Would you mind waiting for me? We can go up together then."_

"_Sure," I smiled at her. "What are you doing?"_

"_I'm burying Chibi-chan," she replied._

_I was silent for a moment. "Who is that?"_

_She stopped and turned to me. Then she finally said, "Do you know who Tanaka-jiji was?"_

_I shook my head._

"_The warden who lived in school?" she tried again._

_A shock of white hair and an always-smiling wrinkled face suddenly surfaced from memory. I nodded._

"_He passed away in spring. Chibi-chan was his rabbit and only companion," she went back to packing the dirt again. "I thought since there was no one to look after her I would. Every morning I'd put fresh food and water in her cage and every fortnight I'd give her a bath and change the bedding. But I think she couldn't take the loneliness… This morning when I went to the cottage she was already cold."_

_Something caught in my chest. "You have a very good heart, Tomoyo-chan."_

_She shook her head and a smile I could only describe as sorrowful placed itself on her face. "I just understand what it means to be lonely, Senpai."_

_I didn't know what to say, but she broke the silence._

"_Sorry if I said anything to make you feel uncomfortable. Please wait here for me – I'll go wash my hands now," she gave me a cheery grin and sped off._

**x**

**19:58 – Preparing dinner at the Fujioka residence**

"Has Touhi mentioned Tomoyo to you yet?" I quizzed Hideyo as he lowered the fire to simmer the stew. He pulled his pony-tail over his shoulder in thought. I noticed a squeamish look settle slowly into his gentle features.

"Um, actually he has – somewhat. He wants to know if I believe that there can be two people who look almost exactly alike," he mused. "When I said I do – you know I have twins and triplets back home – he asked me if I've ever seen a girl around school that looks like me. I just told him, rather snappily, I've barely been around the school since it's only Wednesday and he stopped asking."

"So you're saying that he's growing suspicious."

Hideyo gave a deep, throaty laugh. "Touhi, as I have found out over the past few days, is quite a dense person. He doesn't grow _suspicious_, he just… wonders about things. It's not that he's stupid, he is quite gifted in many areas, but… How do I put it nicely…"

"He's a blockhead?" I suggested.

"Yes," Hideyo snapped his fingers in agreement. "That's probably the word. He is habitually forgetful, not quite the party animal but still has a good wit when it comes to joking around with the guys but has no skill whatsoever with women, a hopeless romantic–"

"I thought you said he doesn't put girls as his priority?"

"Yes, I did say that, but it seems to be different when it comes to The One. He's quite fastidious about love. Of course, he admitted shyly that he hasn't gone to talk to her yet. I tried to act like I didn't know that already. Oh, and he's crazy about sports. It probably sums him up as the sensitive-new-age-jock type everyone is raving about nowadays."

"That's a lot to find out in less than a week."

"You need to understand Touhi is a transparent person. You don't even get to observe because everything presents itself blatantly."

"Quite unlike you."

He nodded. "_Very_, if I may say so."

"Well," I got the bowls out of the cupboard, "you may not say so. You're _quite_ like Touhi."

Hideyo stared. I prattled on.

"The common thing about the both of you is the quest to discover yourselves – your abilities, your strengths. All the doubts are displayed on the shelf once you reveal yourselves a bit deeper."

"What do you mean, revealing ourselves a bit deeper?"

"Like Touhi, you are struggling to find your identity. Touhi's in self-esteem and getting rid of his problem with girls, yours in letting go of the past."

Hideyo was effectively silenced by my statement for awhile. "I _have_ let go of the past. Living with you and Ranka-san is a new chapter in life."

I gave him a tight smile. "You frown when you are doing household chores, especially the kinds that require you to go down on your hands and knees. You condemn the antagonist to hell when you see any form of mistreatment or abuse of anyone on TV or in books, real or fictional – and you genuinely _hate_ the step-mother in Cinderella. Otou-san has prompted me more than once to talk to you about this problem. Can you tell me honestly if you've let go?"

He just chewed on his lip and looked at me sadly.

**x**

That night, as we were cracking our brains (him over Chemistry and I over History's case study analysis) I raised The Question.

"Hideyo-chan, you have to tell me honestly. Do you really want to enter the Host Club?"

I felt that I already knew the answer.

"Senpai… You do know that I can never get what I want."

I sighed. "You can if you are willing to."

"I can't break my promise to my father," he frowned, putting his pen down. "I shouldn't have gotten so caught up this afternoon and given an answer that I really meant from my heart. I shouldn't have let the attraction of reclaiming my identity get the better of me. I should have made myself disqualify."

I stared. "Well, you probably should have."

"Senpai…"

"_However_," I put up a finger, "I'm still pretty glad you went with how you felt. I don't know how else to put it, but as little as I knew her then, Tomoyo-chan would _never _compromise what she believes in just to make other people satisfied."

I set down my textbook, my fists clenched. "Why don't you just come clean? I know it's only the first week and I promised to keep your secret, but it's giving me such a huge headache to see you sandwiched!"

He put his head low and took up his pen again. "Just… do your homework, Senpai."

"Hide–"

"Senpai, _please_."

**x**

I couldn't sleep that night. I was frustrated. I didn't know how to help Hideyo-chan, and things seemed to be getting worse and worse. I glanced at my clock. It was half past two.

I pushed myself up from the futon and walked over to my door, swinging it open. I heard the steady rhythm of breathing coming from Hideyo as I stepped over him and crossed the living room to the kitchen, where the light was on.

"Otou-san," I greeted, not surprised, as I walked to the sink to get a cup.

He grinned and tapped the kettle. "Have some tea."

"Just about to," I replied, standing beside him. He had just showered, and I caught a whiff of his shampoo. He smelt like Mom, if my memory served me correctly.

"You look like crap," he pointed out. I sighed deeply and admitted, "I believe I do. I've been trying to cover up for Hideyo-chan in school, and it's only been three days. It's taking its toll."

Dad put a palm to the back of my head and swept me to his chest. "Haruhi… Sometimes, you just have to let nature take its course. I heard about today's recording from Kyouya – it seems that he's rather suspicious of Hideyo-chan, actually."

"You didn't tell him, did you?" I drew my head back and fixed my eyes on him in horror.

"Shhh," Dad put a finger to his lips. "Hideyo-chan's sleeping. And of course I didn't tell Kyouya, I know where my loyalties lie. I just warned him not to overwork you. Haruhi, you must understand, Kyouya-senpai only suspects Hideyo-chan because you are acting weird," he gripped my arms lightly.

I looked up at our ceiling. Probably I really should loosen up.

"Haruhi, listen to Otou-san for a moment. Do you want to see Hideyo-chan be a proper boy?"

"Of course. I would be even happier if he could participate in the TV show as himself and not as Hakozawa Hideyo. It's so _frustrating _to know that he's a boy but having to tell other people that he's actually a girl. Sometimes I get so caught up of watching where I have to put my feet that I get tired and start to sit on people's priva–"

I realized what I was saying and shut up.

"People's what?"

"N-Nothing. Slip of the tongue, I'm just tired."

"For a moment there I thought you were going to say 'privates', but you don't go around doing that. I know you too well. Anyway, Hideyo-chan obviously wants to be himself, right?"

"That's right."

"And do you think that his family is a bunch of selfish bastards for restricting him on confessing something so basic such as his gender?" Dad excitedly rambled.

I lowered my voice and said in a fierce whisper, "Obviously!"

"Now, Haruhi, I know you may think Otou-san is despicable for thinking of this, but you have to remember that keeping Hideyo-chan's secret will not do him any good."

"Okay."

"You _cannot_, on any account, tell him about the physical examination."

Heavens, I had forgotten about it myself.

**x**

**17:04 – The Third Music Room, Host Club not in session**

It was Friday, and the semi-finals were just over. The production unit had developed most of the questions and they bordered etiquette and general knowledge so it was no wonder all the five contestants did very well. Incidentally, there was a mystery tie-breaker which turned out to be a bunch of 'commoner questions' – apparently this was developed by Tamaki-senpai, who thought this would definitely sieve out the cream of the crop because then their knowledge would _truly _be wide – and Hideyo was the first to be safe. Naturally.

Touhi and the other three contestants battled it out. The boy who was the next successor to Matsunaga Electronics got 'How do you change a light bulb' correct, and was the second one to be safe. Touhi managed to name five instant coffee brands and was hence entered into the final round.

"Hideyo-chan," I smiled to him after Mari signaled the wrap-up. "It seems that you do want to continue after all."

He gave me a tired look. "Actually, I just didn't know how I could avoid insulting my intelligence and was compelled to tell the truth. I mean, who doesn't know how to open a retractable umbrella?"

I was about to reply but couldn't help stopping to stare, as the two contestants who were not selected trudged past me dejectedly with a box of teacups in their hands. The neon pink word 'Daizo' was emblazoned in true commoner fashion on the side of it. I heard one of them mutter, "How am I going to answer to my father?"

The other one responded, "Give it to your chambermaid when you get home. I think I'm going to do that."

"Even my maids wouldn't want teacups from _Daizo_," was the despair-laden reply.

These rich bastards.

The Hitachiin brothers chose that moment to skip over and Kaoru whispered to Hideyo, "Tomoyo-chan, you were awesome! We're rooting for you for the next round!"

"Yeah, even though we know you're a commoner and it was a given that you'd do really well in the tie-breaker, we didn't say anything because we really hope you'd join the Host Club," Hikaru pumped Hideyo-chan's hand.

"Okay, enough of the congratulatory words, we need to move on to the finals," I caught sight of Kyouya-senpai looking at his watch and was greatly alarmed. The finals were to be filmed on the same day as the semi-finals because the producers couldn't squeeze time to come down the following week. Just as well that I could get back to my lessons as soon as I possibly could.

Kyouya-senpai lifted his head and looked at me. He tapped his watch and offered me a benign smile. "You almost had to add 30 delegations to your debt."

**x**

The rules of the game were simple. The participant was to be thrown into a simulation of a Host Club session and the audience would rate his performance. The person with the lowest score would be given a six-month guilt-free shopping voucher at Daizo – Hikaru had remarked that this was the most disgraceful thing that could be owned by anyone whose net worth was over two billion. Kaoru nudged him to shut up, but I went ahead to sarcastically remark that I didn't mind shouldering the disgrace and purposely answer badly, if it was a six-month guilt-free shopping voucher.

These rich bastards could be the death of me.

**x**

Touhi was up first. According to Hideyo he was quite enthusiastic about being in the competition. We weren't sure if it was his sportsmanship that was making him compete or if he was just plain afraid of getting discounts at a budget store.

"Hello," blushed the girl sitting beside Touhi. "I'm Kuragemitsu Yuu and she's Nijiaki Aya. You must be Touhi-kun."

He trained his soft brown eyes on her, nodded, and didn't speak a word. She promptly clutched her handkerchief as hearts swam around her head.

We were a distance away with the other two – Hirakawa Masayuki and Hideyo-chan. I pulled the latter away from the crowd and questioned him.

"Hideyo-chan," I nudged my junior, "did you have anything to do with this?" I indicated Touhi's performance.

"No, I have no idea how he got so good," Hideyo's brow furrowed. Then it hit me.

It had to be Kyouya-senpai.

"Touhi-kun!" The girl on Touhi's other side put her hands on his arm. "What hobbies do you have?"

"That's it, he's done for," I shook my head, knowing Touhi's intolerance for female contact.

Hideyo nodded vigorously. "He's gonna die."

Touhi's eyes were closed – but I could see that his knuckles were turning white. He stood up slowly with his eyes still shut, appearing to be in deep thought. Then he opened his eyes, calmly reached under his chair and pulled out a black hardcover case, which (I was quite convinced) held a violin.

"_What_ on earth has Kyouya-senpai been teaching him?" I hissed as Touhi slowly clicked open the case. "He's ruined his personality!"

"Kyouya-senpai?" Hideyo-chan's eyes turned wide. "How did you know?"

"I've observed some weird behavior lately. I'll explain later," I held up a hand, wanting to concentrate on the going-on.

"Apparently as long as Touhi doesn't look at the girl he's fine, Senpai."

"Yeah, I see that."

"Maybe it's some sort of spiritual enlightenment thing and he's trying to search for his real self that is buried deep within the heart of his peaceful soul."

"Have you been going to my dad's bar?"

The guilty silence told me yes.

I wasn't a very musically-inclined person so I couldn't really tell how well Touhi could play but from the way everyone else (including the other hosts) was ogling, he was probably really good.

"Edward Elgar's _Romance D'Amour,_" Hideyo-chan pronounced. "He's good."

The audience were captivated, mesmerized even, by the usually introverted boy's display of talent. Their eyes were glassed over, most of their hands clasped over their chests and their mouths were slightly ajar in awe of the melodious harmonies flowing from Touhi's strings.

He then finished with the echo of the last note hanging in the air before it slowly faded into everyone's memories.

"I play the violin," he finally uttered to the camera, in response to Nijiaki Aya's question.

Immediately, the audience squealed for quite a while and then dove for their rating buttons, hitting Touhi to full marks. I raised my eyebrows, and Hideyo cheered loudly.

"I think he's going to win!" Hideyo grinned happily.

"There's still the electronics guy. But yeah, he can't hold a candle to Touhi, much less you."

"But I bet he can hold a lightbulb."

"…Not funny."

**x**

Hirakawa Masayuki went on next. Nothing was spectacular – except for the fact that he _tried _to behave like Tamaki-senpai.

It was a bad impersonation. I shall refrain from reliving the horrors of the short minutes that he performed. He apparently perceived Tamaki-senpai as a roving sex maniac. The few males that were in the audience even shouted that he deserved the Daizo voucher for having no originality and no morals. He hung his head in shame as the audience gave him a measly 10 – most of it sympathy points.

**x**

"Good evening, Kuragemitsu-senpai, Nijiaki-senpai," Hideyo greeted the two clients (which remained the same throughout for all the three contestants) as he approached the settee. The cameramen trained their equipment on him, and I heard Kaoru and Hikaru marvel in unison, "Wow, she's a pro. Even her voice can go deeper when she impersonates a boy!"

Somehow, after the talk with Dad the previous night, I didn't jump to think of an excuse for Hideyo-chan's identity when I heard such speculation.

"Hello, Hideyo-kun," Yuu smiled shyly. "Please, do call me Yuu."

"You can call me Aya-chan," winked Aya coyly. She was the more flirtatious one of the two.

"All right," Hideyo smiled back and leant into the settee. "Yuu-chan and Aya-chan. I'll remember that," he pulled his ponytail across his shoulder. "How has your day been?"

"We've been busy," Aya replied, pinching her nose bridge. "We had to come here after club practice."

"But we're not complaining," Yuu quickly said.

"Ah, it's all right, I understand," Hideyo continued giving his winning smile. He appeared extremely comfortable with the girls, as if the camera and audience weren't there. "Yuu-chan and Aya-chan are in which club?"

"We're in the Art Club," the girls answered.

"Wow. That's cool. I don't have a flair for art," Hideyo put a palm to his cheek – this was an improvement because Tomoyo would've put both her hands to her cheeks and that would really be girly. "I can't draw to save my life."

"We'll help you!" Aya enthused. Hideyo laughed and responded, "It's all right, I don't think there'll be any life or death situations that require me to draw anyway."

The girls giggled and Yuu voiced, "Hideyo-kun, you're so straightforward. Even yesterday's answer was a matter of fact."

"It doesn't help to not be frank," Hideyo turned to her and smiled. "My sister always said you have to be frank with women even though most of the time they want to hear only the nice things," he laughed heartily.

"You have a sister?"

Hideyo chuckled. "Actually, I have six."

"_Six _sisters!"

"No wonder you seem so much like a lady."

"You think so?"

"Oh, yes. You even look like a lady."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Of course. But you're also pretty as a boy."

"Thank you."

"How do you keep your skin so smooth?" Yuu enviously eyed Hideyo's cheek.

"And your hair is to die for, what do you do with it?" Aya boldly stroked her fingers along his ponytail.

"Drink lots of water and eat plenty of vegetables. Avoid fatty foods. It helps for the hair too. But there are some products I can recommend you!" Hideyo was getting excited. (Bad sign.) "And you shouldn't put conditioner on your scalp because it may result in hair loss."

"Really?" Yuu was quite horrified and her hand flew to her scalp. "Oh, no!"

"Don't worry, it's not too late. Your hair still looks very healthy," Hideyo chortled.

"Oh, assess my hair too!" Aya cried.

"You have slightly frizzy hair… Is your hairbrush plastic?"

"Yes!"

"Oh no," Hideyo bit his lip in concern. Almost all the girls in the audience gasped and started to finger their hair to check if it was frizzy.

"But it was a gift from a Thai diplomat, with a very well-made bronze body that has an embossed elephant on the back. The plastic is very gentle on my scalp."

"Yes, that may be so, but plastic fibers will cause static when they rub on your hair so your hair becomes frizzy. Do change to a wooden hairbrush, it will be much better for your hair. And comb the lower end of your hair first to remove the knots instead of combing from the top and tugging at the knots – you may damage your follicles."

"You're so knowledgeable, Hideyo-kun!" Yuu sighed contentedly.

"Thank you. Feel free to ask me anything and I'll try to help. I've learnt a lot from my sisters."

Aya caught Hideyo's eye and her expression changed. "Hideyo-kun, why is one of your eyes green? I don't remember it being green just now."

"Oh!" Hideyo exclaimed, immediately hyperventilating. I had to resist a sigh. "Really? One of my contacts must have fallen out! Quick, help me find it!"

"You wear colored contacts?" Yuu probed.

Hideyo nodded, his eyes scanning the floor. "I have perfect eyesight so I wear contacts for pure cosmetic purposes."

The girls slowly turned their heads (Hideyo was still fidgeting in between them, looking for the missing lens) to look at each other. Their visions locked and suddenly they squealed, hugging Hideyo tightly.

"Please, please come to the Host Club!"

"It needs talents like you!"

The female audience lost control and stampeded towards their new favorite.

"Look at my hair, Hideyo-kun!"

"Do I need a manicure?"

"I think I stepped on your contacts!"

Despite the nagging worry about his identity at the back of my mind, I couldn't help but smile at his success.

He'd be terrific.

_Author's note: I really sincerely most honestly apologize for the extremely long hiatus. I'm back! Just two more chapters to the closing, so thanks to all who reviewed, favorite-d, author alert-ed – I love you all and thanks for your support. Sorry if this chapter didn't meet up to your standards :P I really did try my best!_


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